


BREATHE

by ismellitblue



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Betrayal, Comfort, Cooking, F/M, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Team, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Manipulation, Mind Rape, Recovery, Whump, abusive m'gann, bad M'gann, hurt Conner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:18:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ismellitblue/pseuds/ismellitblue
Summary: Surviving an abusive relationship,is about more than just having the strength to leave.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i don't own YJ.

Superman won’t even look at him.

“He’s in shock,he’ll come around,give him time”

Batman sounded so sure,and according to  Robin, Batman always knew best.So Superboy swallowed down the hurt he was feeling, and focused on the future.

He dreamt of  Superman accepting him into the big blue family.Of the man of steel looking at him with pride in his eyes(the same way Batman looked at Robin when he thought no one was watching).

***

Weeks passed and Superman still ignored him.He had to pick out his own name…Conner.

Saying it ,didn’t feel as good as he imagined it would feel if Superman had given it to him,but he made do.

He sometimes watched the happy families ,on the TV  programs M’gann  liked, and saw the way fathers behaved towards their children.

It was nothing at all like the way Superman treated him, and everybody seemed to think he should just accept the way things were, and wait for Superman.

For the longest time he tried to do so.

Then one day a thought formed in his mind and refused to leave.

It went against everything he was being told to do,but it just wouldn’t go away.

_I deserve better._

He didn’t tell anyone about it because he knew they still had faith in Superman.The fact that his own faith was dwindling ,would probably cost him the only friends he had.

***

He got Sphere and Wolf ,and for a while he was able to convince himself that everything was alright.Spending time with the two made it easy to forget that he had been living at the base for over a year,with only Red Tornado’s occasional company.

When the brittle world he’d  built for himself collapsed,it didn’t do so in stages.It was just one huge catastrophic explosion, that tore apart everything he’d come to know.

He was not Superman’s clone.He was an abomination that carried half of  Lex Luthor’s DNA(the disgusted look Superman had thrown his way at the news, made him feel like it would have been better if the man still thought he was a clone).

He won’t ever age past sixteen and all he has of Superman’s power is nothing more than a cheap imitation.

His ex-girlfriend had been brainwashing him for most of their relationship, and he couldn’t even tell which parts of it were real and which ones were fake.He couldn’t  tell anyone about the whole M’gann fiasco because they would  most likely believe her over him.She’d made that very clear the night he’d caught her trying to alter his memories.

The persona she’d constructed was kind and friendly,…they wouldn’t believe she was capable of brainwashing anyone.Whereas he had anger issues, and was on shaky ground with the league.The only mentors that actually trusted him were Canary,Batman and Red tornado.

If she were to show up with a fist shaped bruise,they’d believe her on sight.She’d pin her actions on trying to make him stop physically abusing her.It would all be  lie of course,but he knew she’d make everybody believe it…Even Batman.

She’d emphasized her point by making a black eye appear on her skin and making tears well in her eyes.

“Do, not ,cross me Conner”

She hissed quietly in his ear before retreating, and adopting her trademark cheery smile as Robin came through the door.

***

Wolf and Sphere, had been the only witnesses to the deterioration of Conner and M’gann’s relationship.As such, they were the only ones to witness his breakdown on the beach.

Wolf sat quietly and let him cry his heart out.The alpha’s fur muffled Conner screams ,and absorbed his tears.By the time he was all cried out,the sun was just about to set,but instead of heading back,he started walking.

It was nighttime, by the time they reach the outskirts of Happy Harbour.He turned back and took a look at the location of the base.

“Sphere,can we go for a drive?I don’t want to head back yet.”

He tossed his bloody communicator into a crevice as he got up.The cut M’gann had made when she’d tossed him against the cliffs  on his arm was already healed,so he just wiped off the dried blood.

She morphed into a car and they drove.

And drove and drove,and kept on  driving.

…They didn’t return to the base.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't own YJ.

It took 56 hours for them to notice Conner was missing.

…56 hours.

The Bat family had been on a mission .Red Tornado’s system had been rebooting.Canary had been on a weekend getaway with Green Arrow and everybody else had their own things to worry about.

The day after returning,Batman was checking in on things when he noticed Conner wasn’t showing up on any screen.From then on, everything was absolute chaos.Everyone was searching.Calling in favors,hacking the government,hacking Luthor’s files(even the well  hidden ones),checking in on Cadmus and the light.

By the end of the first week they were all burnt out .A month later a new global threat came up and Conner’s case had to be put in the back burner.

When Superman returned to earth Conner had been missing for three months.

It took him two more days, and a kryptonite laced punch from a _very_ angry Batman, for him to learn of the disappearance.

***

During the first two days Conner expected someone to come for them.But they went further and further … no one came.

When they were two states away ,he had Sphere put up a signal scrambler to stop them from being followed.She also put out a periodic pulses disguised by all the satellites on earth, to ward of the telepathic probing of the Martians.

When she’d told him about it ,Conner hadn’t even tried to disguise his relief at not having to face M’gann.

They kept moving after that, and only stopped when he and Wolf had to stretch their legs.During these breaks Wolf would go into the woods hunt for food, while Sphere reverted into her natural state and rolled around.

For the most part, Conner just sat around gazing at the sky.It was just as calming as looking at static, so he did it whenever he could.He didn’t feel hungry,so he just stuck to drinking water from the canteen he’d had on him when they left ,and only took baths when they passed rivers that looked mostly unpolluted.

He could tell Sphere and Wolf were worried about him,especially when Sphere made them take longer breaks during the day and Wolf brought back edible berries from his hunts.He nibbled on the berries and  tried to  sleep at night instead of having Sphere take down the roof so that he could watch the stars, while she drove.

Weeks  passed,they went through many towns without ever stopping.His appetite didn’t return ,but that didn’t really bother him as he found himself sleeping more and more.

At some point his jeans stopped fitting right and he had to use a piece of string to hold them up.He could see his ribs whenever he bathed in a river, and he felt all the individual bones in his spine, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Four months into their journey he was awakened from his fourth long nap of the day,by Wolf gently nipping at his fingers.

Sphere had stopped just outside a gas station and no matter,how hard Conner tried she refused to move.Wolf kept leaning his head towards the restroom,until Conner finally relented and got out.

***

 

Seeing his reflection in the mirror was a shock.

He knew he’d lost weight after months of not having anything of substance to eat, but seeing the physical proof was still jarring.He looked at the lean young man staring at him and had to fight back tears as he finally, really focused on his eyes.

They weren’t the clear blue he was used to.

Instead the blue was fading and he could see a bright green colour beginning to form.Like a someone had painted over acrylic with a water color and the layered paint was fading away.

…Even his eye colour had been fake.

He turned his head to the side and quickly left the restroom as he caught sight of some dark red strands of hair.

He didn’t want to add something else ,to the growing list of things that he was made of,but weren’t really his.

***

They only travelled for one more week after leaving the gas station.

They stopped in the town of Blue Fog .With just over 100 000 people,it was large enough that no one paid attention to his arrival ,and small enough to be overlooked by  heroes and villains.

 Sphere forged him some identification.It wasn’t  much, only a birth certificate that put him at 19 years of age,an ID and a driver’s license.Trying to get him anymore would  most likely raise red flags with the league ,and he didn’t want their attention.

His next objective was getting a job.

He looked and he looked but no one would hire a teen in threadbare clothes who looked like he hadn’t  had a good meal in a long time(at least not for anything ,legal).

It was tough,but every morning he’d head to a soup kitchen,get his  meal of the day and start looking.In the evening he’d return to Sphere ,who’d morphed into a minivan and sleep.

He rarely ever saw Wolf anymore, as he was often out hunting  just outside Blue Fog.He really missed his friends and on especially difficult days(when people threw insults they thought he couldn’t hear) he wondered if he’d made a mistake by leaving.But then Sphere would beep, soothingly and Conner would wipe his silent tears,mentally promising to do better the next day.

***

In the end the job _found_ him.

He was walking around aimlessly one morning when, all of a sudden a petite woman in a white double breasted jacket stood in his way.

She looked familiar but Conner couldn’t figure out where he’d seen her before.

“Are you looking for a job?”

Her tone was curt and very commanding and Conner found himself nodding before he’d fully processed her question.

“Oh,thank goodness!Come with me”Her stern  expression faded with her  smile and Conner could see her laugh lines clearly.

She dragged him by the arm him for  several blocks until they got to an  alleyway.There she opened a red door ,and Conner was hit with a blast of heat.

The room( a huge kitchen)was  buzzing with constant motion.There were people cooking everywhere. It was nothing like M’gann’s cooking(they were using actual fire).The smell of different spices,of bread baking and of meat on a grill wafted into his nostrils and for the first time in a long time he felt himself craving food.

“Hey kid,I didn’t get your name earlier,I’m Mira Millighan by the way,You can call me Mimi”

“I’m Conner”He didn’t elaborate and she didn’t push.Instead she pointed to a machine closer to the door.

“Welcome to Kozu’s, Conner”

Mimi spent five minutes showing him how to use the dishwashing machine.Before heading over to her own station.

She’d told him dishwashing was only seven dollars an hour and had waited a few seconds as though expecting him to complain.When he’d just stared she’d continued on,adding the fact that he’d be getting free meals as they often closed late and as the dishwasher he’d be among the last leave.

***

It took him a month of washing dishes and watching the  chefs cook to make his first dish.

Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t at the restaurant.

It was at the very same shelter where he used to get his meals.When they arrived together with Chuck,the pastry chef, he’ d looked up at Mimi in shock and she’d nodded slightly before heading to the stove.

The realization that she’d probably kept him fed during the time when he’d been down on his luck, made his heart clench in gratitude and he found himself blinking back tears.

Initially he’d just expected to drop off the food and leave.But Chuck had cornered him before he could make an exit.

“Con,I need you to make salad,while I start working on the meat”

He wanted to protest that he only had experience in making sandwiches,but he remembered how much the food at the soup kitchen had meant to him when he couldn’t afford his own meals.So he quietly washed his hands and got to work.Conner used what he’d seen the chefs at Kozu’s doing and adjusted it to make use of the limited resources available.

He boiled  beetroots and while they were still in the pot,he went for a pack of onions.There weren’t many ,so he sliced them very thinly,making sure the knife didn’t cut him( it would be hard to explain how he broke the blade of a knife without giving himself away).He set them aside and went to work on the boiled beetroots.

The skin peeled off the beetroots with the slightest touch of his hand.Once he had all of them peeled, he grated them.They were pretty sweet so he added the onion to balance it out.He ended up giving the rest of the onions to a lady doing the beef stew because he didn’t want the onion to overwhelm the beetroot.They tasted alright,but he still felt like something was missing. He looked around the kitchen and his eyes landed on some salt and vinegar.He added them sparingly on the vegetables  and sampled the salad.

It tasted fantastic,but he didn’t really trust his own opinion,so he had Chuck and Mimi try some.

Neither of them had said anything,but the next morning when he showed  up for work,he was directed to the line cooks instead of the dishwasher’s station.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!I'm shocked at the number of hits this got.Thank you,ladies and gents.On with the show.I still don't own YJ.

Food was amazing.

Conner had no idea,why he’d never realized it before.The way the textures and flavours ,varied on his taste buds was fascinating.It was nothing at all like the takeouts  he got in Happy habour,nor the burnt ‘ _things_ ’ M’gann was fond of .

Best of all,since becoming a chef,he felt like a hero again.It wasn’t on the large scale it had been in ,when he was with the Team,but it was just as important.Every weekend,he made sure to cook and serve food at the soup kitchen.The way people’s faces lit up when they took their first bite always reminded him of the way rescued civilians looked,back when he still wore a costume .

It was a good feeling.

Making meals,ignited a spark in him,that he hadn’t known was missing,every single thing in the kitchen required him keeping his strength in check, while at the same time letting loose.It taught him control in a way endless hours of training hadn’t.It also didn’t hurt that being around fire gave him the assurance of being protected from M’gann.

In the thirteen months that he’d been at Kozu’s he’d climbed through the kitchen hierarchy incredibly fast.He was now the sous chef(Mimi was the executive chef),but everyday felt like his first day.From preparing the freshly caught fish,to experimenting with spice blends to come up with new flavors.It was a good life,but he always worried about being found.

At first he’d intended to call someone(maybe Nightwing )and let them know he was alright,but as time passed he’d put off the idea until it was no longer,appealing.

He knew he was being silly, but he felt like letting them know where he was, would ruin the sanctuary he’d created.There was also the issue of M’gann to consider(he still broke into a cold sweat at the thought of being in the same room as her).Unsuprisingly,it was the fear of being caught that had  influenced Conner,when it came to buying a home.

The former-Superboy had decided on an RV.He knew that he had Sphere if he ever needed to run,but having his home be mobile,made him more comfortable.

He’d named it RV(Wolf had snorted  and Sphere had rolled away,when he’d told them the name).It had  cost him almost all the money he’d saved up, but it was totally worth it.Heading back to the RV after a hard day’s work was awesome.The fact that having the RV meant they could visit Wolf whenever they wanted was also a plus.

The one thing that had bothered him about his new home had been,how _normal_ ,it was.

After a week of living in it he hadn’t been able to let the normalcy continue,so he’d set about remodeling it,making it more suitable for disasters of the supernatural and superpowered type(and also to fit his own needs).He took his limited budget  as a challenge and worked on ways to beef up the RV using cheap but good quality components.While living in happy harbor he’d discovered that he had a knack for mechanics,but he’d only kept it limited to bikes.Working on something as large as the RV and not just for simple repairs was…fascinating.

Cadmus had given him the knowledge of what things where,but theory paled in comparison to actually seeing and touching the real deal.So he took his time studying each part and learning as much as he could about it.It was just as interesting as cooking and he found it helped him relax after hours surrounded by the frantic energies of the kitchen.

The two were almost similar in the way the calmness they gave him.The only difference was that when working on the RV, he swapped his knife set for a toolbox.

***

Naturally, that’s how he discovered his power.

He’d been working on making the vehicle run on water instead of  diesel,when all of a sudden he could feel,the entire engine,not just the part he was touching.It had only lasted a few seconds,but it had left him disoriented.

In the weeks that followed the first incident, the _feeling_ showed up from time to time.One day he’d been butchering a squab for the second time in an hour( a customer had complained for absolutely no reason), and muttering angrily to himself.He’d touched it,intent on butchering it ,when all of the bones had just popped out.Thankfully,no one had noticed and he’d set down his knife with a shaking hand and had gone about infusing flavor into the meat,trying to act as though he wasn’t freaked out.

Soon after that,the power began extending itself on a regular basis.He would _feel,_ every bit of RV,when he returned home from work.Like his power was making sure everything was alright.Then there’d be times when he found himself lulled to sleep, as he somehow tracked the movements of  tiny ants a few meters below ground.There’d even been a moment when he’d accidentally _looked_ past Sphere’s outer shell.The energy coursing through her, had given him a migraine that had lasted for days(he’d gotten the impression that she was laughing at his pain after that incident).

Needless to say he was never doing that again.

For the most part the power wasn’t really a problem as it only showed up in mundane situations,but  it worried him.The incident with the squab,had given him a warning on what he could be capable of, if he left the power unchecked.

He did _not_ ,want to accidentally debone someone.

_“Learn to control yourself,that way no matter the situation,you always have the upper hand”_

Black Canary’s words to him when he’d first left Cadmus, propelled him even further into learning more about the ability.He did as much research as he could,passing himself as just a person interested in superhero powers in search engines(he knew for a  fact that Batman had a system to track newly powered people based on their keyword searches) and doing most of the incriminating searches in the local library.In the end,he found  the name of his power.

Tactile telekinesis.Apart from a name,not much else was available(it was as though his power was only a foot note in the history of superpowers),so he decided to just go with the flow  and work out the best ways to use it on his own.

 

***

_In the end the first breakthrough they had into Conner’s disappearance came from Krypto.The friendship between Superman and Batman was still strained,but the rift between them had decreased,enough for them to be able to spend time together.They weren’t as close as they’d been a year before,but they weren’t actively arguing either._

_They’d been at the Mount. Justice,(Superman was checking on,Kara, the new Supergirl) and he was doing a better  job with her than he’d done with Conner. He’d brought Krypto along,and the Superdog had bounded off to go for a run on the beach._

_He’d come back thirty minutes later,barking insistently and had pulled on Superman’s cape.The two heroes had followed the dog,all the way to the cliffs._

_“Perhaps an injured animal is stuck in a  crevice, let’s go check.”_

_With that the man of steel,had flown to the base of the cliff,and begun looking into the jagged rocks there.He scanned the spot where Krypto was standing,with x-ray vision,until he saw something._

_“It’s a communicator,someone in the Team,must have dropped it”_

_He pulled it out,and inspected it,noting  the initial that was emblazoned on it._

_C._

_Conner._

_He brought the device closer to his face,to see it clearly(even though he knew he’d read it right) and the smell hit him.Krypto had probably picked it up first, even after all the months that Conner had been missing because of his keen sense of smell._

_“Bruce,it’s Conner’s…and it smells …like blood”_

_He handed the slightly battered communicator over to the masked detective and they shared a look at the implications of the blood._

_…Conner had been  hurt,when he’d vanished._

***

_Taking down a hero gone rogue was never an easy thing to do.Taking down a family member made it even more difficult._

_Batman watched as Martian Manhunter brought his restrained niece into the courtroom.The public was not privy to the reason for the meeting but almost every hero,was in attendance.All the mentors had been exempted from active participation as they were too emotionally involved to make an unbiased decision.It was a point Batman had not agreed with initially,but as he watched Queen Mera do the questioning he was glad he’d sat it out._

_The martian girl…was unhinged._

_And none of them had noticed…he was supposed to be the greatest detective,... and he hadn’t noticed.He glanced over at Superman trying to catch his eye but the kryptonian pointedly ignored him._

_As M’gann answered questions with a psychic nudge from J’onn,lead settled in Batman’s stomach.He squeezed Nightwing’s shoulder,trying to impart comfort,as the sordid details,of what had most likely become of Conner were laid bare._

_“He didn’t like me,so I had to do something.Megan had a boyfriend who loved her,and I’m M’gann,were practically the same,I needed a boyfriend .”_

_“Did he ever want to be in a relationship with you?”_

_“Not at first,but after I persuaded him,he agreed,We were perfect together,you saw it right?”She said dreamily,completely oblivious ,to the queasy looks almost everyone had on their faces._

_“Shortly before he disappeared,you two fought a lot,what happened?”_

_“We didn’t fight…_ He _fought me,I tried to make him see reason,but his mind blocked me,no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sway him?”_

_“…Then he started remembering things,the way they were,instead of how they should have been.”_

_“So he escaped your control”_

_“No!He was just being difficult.I tried to tell him we could still work things out,but he wouldn’t listen”_

_“…Did you kill him,when you realized you couldn’t have him”_

_“No,of course not,I love him”_

_“In the last surveillance video he ever appeared in,you were the only one with him”_

_“What happened?”_

_“Nothing!We argued,and I pushed him a little with a telekinetic blast,he was fine”_

_“Where were you,exactly,when you pushed him”_

_“By the cliffs”_

_“Did he fall off?”_

_“Yes,but he’s Kryptonian,I’m sure he was fine.He’s probably laying low,to show he’s mad at me.We’ll work it out.”_

_“It’s been a months since he disappeared.He’s half-human,Did you see him get back up,after you pushed him?”_

_“…N-no,I-I looked,he wasn’t moving,but he was playing tricks on me,so I let the tide pull him under to teach him a lesson”_

_“C-Could,you sense any consciousness from him?”_

_At that,the girl paused,as though trying to fight her uncle’s influence ,but then she righted herself and when she spoke up,she sounded scared since the first time the proceedings had begun._

_“….No”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not be able to update for a while after April,so i'm going to try and update my fics as much as i can.Enjoy ,Ladies,gents and everybody else.I do not own YJ.

_They’d let her go._

_Not only had she been mind controlling  a fellow hero,but there was a huge chance she’d killed him._

_….and they’d just let her walk._

_Wearing a fancy power inhibiting necklace for a year and having to undergo psychiatric evaluations before carrying on being a hero was not a  punishment in Lex’s book._

_He really didn’t know why he was surprised._

_The whole Jason Todd issue had proven the good guys didn’t really care about each other.All that mattered was appearing righteous to the public.They'd even gone to great lengths to hide what had happened to Conner,only some heavy duty hacking had allowed Lex to figure out why Superman had been looking so ashamed every time they met._

_***_

_Luthors were generally not nice people.They were quite nasty to others.In fact Luthors even did terrible things to each other, just for fun._

_But for someone outside to the family,to hurt a Luthor._

_Now that-that was unacceptable._

_***_

_Lex looked down at the quivering girl in front of him and smiled.If anything she seemed to shake even more at the smile.It wasn’t the practiced one he often wore,…it was his real smile.The one that gave the Joker’s permanent grin a run for its money._

_“I-I’m sorry”_

_He ignored her apology as he picked up a torch,he made  sure she saw the flame come to life, before he approached her.Lex placed the torch on the bone white skin(she’d turned to her original form the instant the torture had begun) and began running the fire over it._

_Burnt Martian smelt like a combination of molasses and gym socks.It was horrible stench,but the agonized screams made it bearable._

_“Sir,they are coming”_

_He let out a disappointed sigh before putting aside the torch and holding out his hand.A small crystal was placed on his palm and he traced it lightly._

_“Cut her open”_

_His bodyguard pulled out a tiny scalpel, and made an incision, in one of the unburned areas of skin left._

_He placed the  crystal into the wound and watched as it exploded into tiny pieces, that caught fire when they made contact with the blood.The small flame produced, sent out small tendrils and rooted itself deeper into the flesh._

_They left her there,burning from the inside out, but not dying._

_The stone would burn for a month ,day and night,before that, there’d be nothing anyone could do about it.The girl would wish for death but it would never grant her it’s mercy._

_He left the secret lab with a grim smile on his face,trying his best to ignore the fact that the hollow feeling he’d had since learning of Conner’s disappearance ,hadn’t gone away._

***

Life in Blue Fog was good,and Conner had gotten used to it.He’d immersed in the routine of working in the kitchen all day.Heading home to RV and having Wolf growl at him until he’d taken a shower and had gotten rid of all the conflicting smells of the kitchen.He’d gotten used to watching static for while until Sphere hijacked the channel.

She always tried to pass it off as a glitch,but with every _glitch._

They always ended up watching the same thing…Transformers. Especially a certain prime and Sphere’s light always turned pink whenever he transformed.

Neither he nor Wolf were dumb enough to bring it up,so they’d resigned themselves to watching along with her every night.

It wasn’t as exciting as the life he’d had on Mount Justice but it was something he’d made and he was proud of it.

***

“Turn yourself in Luthor,we know it was you who attacked M’gann”Not for the first time,Lex found himself wondering what Bruce swallowed ,to make his Batman voice that raspy.He folded his arms and took a deep breath,taking in the members of the Justice League.

“Something happened to Manhunter’s niece,that’s…unfortunate”:

He moved to his desk and poured himself a glass of scotch, but he didn’t drink any(he needed his wits about him).Instead he held it to the light observing the way the alcohol captured the sun rays.

“Tell me, what makes you think I had anything to do with it”

“Afterall,the young lady hasn’t done anything to warrant such…unsavoury…attention from me”He paused for effect and settled his eyes on Superman as he delivered the final part of his trap.

“Or has she?Is there something I should be aware of here?”

No one said anything,but the tension in the room went up several notches.They hadn’t informed him of Conner’s disappearance,nor had they said anything about the abuse he’d suffered.

All of them knew he was smart enough to hack their servers,but they had no proof that he’d actually done it.They were all just acting on a hunch,hoping that he’d slip up and give himself away(self-righteous fools).

***

When it became clear that they wouldn’t be getting anything out of him the heroes began filing out of his office(for once they all used the door..even Superman).

He followed them to elevator and just as the doors were about to close he sent them a parting blow.

“Give Conner my regards,he’s been strangely… _absent_ …from the media,I do hope he’s _alive_ and well”

A collective flinch went through all of them and the last thing Lex saw before the doors cut him off was Black Canary’s heartbroken face.

He held his rage until he got to his office,he tossed his scotch against a vase he’d seen Batman hiding a  bug in.

“Mercy,get the car and have someone clean this mess”

He headed out,knowing that not only would the mess be gone by the time he got back,any other …gifts ..left by the league would be gone by the time he returned.

***

In the end all the measures Conner had in place failed.Not because he’d been careless or someone had made it past Sphere’s many-many firewalls…No in the end when he was found it wasn’t because his plans had failed.He was found thanks to a  single human trait.

Luck.

Kozu’s  maitre-d ,Helena,had told him that a client wanted to thank him in person Conner,had washed his hands and gone to the front of the restaurant.

He’d headed to the secluded booth where the client was,unconsciously readjusting his face to look less threatening.He’d been told more than once to stop glaring at customers trying to thank him,even if they weresetting him back by a few minutes.

Conner had walked into the booth without looking up and when he raised his head and saw who it was,his mouth moved before his brain could tell it to shut up ,so that he could run.

“…Father?”

The client raised his head,and sure enough Conner was staring at  the face of a very, shocked Lex Luthor.

His TTK chose that moment to go crazy,and and there were screams throughout the restaurant as  the all the lights exploded,in a spray of fine dust,leaving the whole place in total darkness


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter a few days ago and then deleted it and restarted the whole thing.I hope it's to your liking,feel free to comment and add kudos.  
> I still don't own YJ.

_“I  can make you disappear”_

_“You haven’t been around long enough to be embedded in everyone’s memories”_

_She moved towards the collapsed heroes and her eyes started glowing.They all twitched at the same time,then one by one they started opening their eyes._

_Conner rushed towards them ,intent on proving her wrong.He tried to touch Artemis but his hand went right through her.He screamed into Batman’s ear,but the dark knight didn’t turn in his direction.He just continued moving.All of them just ignored him,like he didn’t exist anymore,like he wasn’t…real._

_Only M’gann could see him and when she turned to him,the smile on her face held no warmth in it._

_“No more Conner,No more problems.See how happy everyone is without you”_

_She waggled her fingers at him and Conner felt the earth give out from beneath his feet and he,fell,deepdeepdeepdeep-deep down with no end in  sight._

“Wake up!Little brother!”

He came to with Dubbilex looking down at him and Conner glared slightly as he fought to get his breathing under control.The genomorph didn’t say anything for a long while as he waited for Conner to collect himself.

“Your father,is waiting for you”He said once Conner was composed.

Other than a slight nod,he didn’t mention Conner’s nightmare and the former Superboy was thankful for  that.Dubbilex,as well as the other genomorphs living at the compound always seemed to know when he needed space,… without reading his mind.

***

Lex leaned against the island watching Conner move around the kitchen as he made breakfast(and a lunchbox for him to take  when he headed back to Metropolis).

When everything was done the two of them carried the food to the balcony and ate quietly.Once they’d cleared their plates,Lex turned to him and instead of the goodbye,see you next month he was intending to give,his mouth grew a brain and started talking for him.

“I’ve been married a few times you know”Conner went slack jawed at the admission,but Lex ploughed on.

“Most of them just tried to steal money from me or take my empire,but there were some who tried to kill me.One lady actually had my jet blown up on the way to our honeymoon…it wasn’t pleasant”

“But what-“Lex held up a hand to silence him and kept talking.

“You can’t predict what somebody will do once you let them close to you.But you can control how you behave if they decide to burn you.My method is to strike back and never stop until the person is nothing but a destitute bloody pulp,facing years of jail time,with all their loved ones gone,their reputation destroyed and-”Lex cut himself off when he saw how horrified Conner looked.”

Obviously this was going to need him to be more direct.

“Look Conner the point is,you can’t let what she did haunt you forever.Find a way to deal with it.”

The topic was clearly very uncomfortable for both of them,so Lex decided to end it there.He went about his business as he prepared to leave Hawaii(why Conner had chosen it as a base,Lex would never know)and head back to Metropolis.

***

Long after his father had left,Conner sat on his private beach thinking about what the man had said.

“He’s right”The teen of steel said to no one in particular.

The whole three years since he’d runaway he hadn’t ever stopped.Almost all his choices were made,with the intent of either staying hidden or making sure he had an escape route ready.

He’d let his fear for M’gann govern his life,he’d cut off contact with everyone just to be away from her.

A weight landed on his shoulder and he turned towards the g-gnome who’d situated herself there.

“Hey Stella,you came to show me your new hair pin.”The g-gnome’s horns glowed as she projected a disjointed reply into his mind.

‘Yes, me,is’Conner gave her a small smile before heading back the compound.

It had taken a lot of negotiating(namely Conner getting a business degree and several engineering degrees all within two years-all while running his own restaurant)to convince his father to let the genomorphs go.At first the newly freed genomorphs thought they were enslaved to Conner.

Through Dubbilex he’d been able to convince them that they were free,but they’d all chosen to stay at the compound.Another thing that Conner had found out about them was that they couldn’t really carry out conversation(only Dubbliex could).

Most of them were used to receiving and giving orders,participating in casual chats,was something they’d only started doing at the compound.Their sentences were still a bit stilted.,but they were getting there.They'd also started picking other things for themselves,for instance they chose their own names and others such as Stella even assigned themselves a gender.

Stella hopped off his shoulder and onto(Dravin) another genomorph’s shoulder as Conner passed by and he waved the both of them goodbye,as he headed to the restaurant.

***

The conversation with his father stayed with him throughout the day as he moved through the restaurant kitchen,gave orders to his staff and put out several fires(both literal and figurative).

That night after closing,he didn’t head back to the compound like he usually did.Instead he called Sphere to him and they went for a drive.

It was time to check up on some old friends.

***

“Well then,it seems this is the end of our meeting,Nightwing”Ra’s al Ghul said as he threw several Shuriken at him and Nightwing barely  dodged them.

The young hero opened his mouth to make a smart remark ,but closed it immediately when he noticed the smug smirk on the leader of the league of shadows’ face.A loud groan came from above him and he looked up just in time to see the ceiling give way.A brick hit him on the back of his head as he tried to get to safe location and he fell to his knees.

The roof gave one final creak before it gave way completely and the former Robin’s heart sank as he realized what that meant.He frantically looked around for anything he could use as shelter but the was nothing in the abandoned factory that looked like it could  withstand the  weight of an entire rooftop.

When the whole thing caved in,instinct took over as he shut his eyes and  curled in on himself even though he knew logically that he would still be crushed to death.

There was a loud thud above him and he let out a breath as he waited for the pain to register-but it never came.

All he got was a quiet chuckle from above him and he opened his eyes and found himself staring at an S-shield.

At first he thought it was Superman,but when the black t-shirt accompanying the shield came into focus,Nightwing’s already failing sight became even blurrier as tears tracked down his dirty cheek.

“S-Supey?”

***

“It’s been three years Dick,we searched everywhere when he dissapeared,Conner is gone”Bruce said trying to be soothing but it came out as blunt and unforgiving as always.

“I saw him,he was there,….he saved me”

“You had a concussion.You were seeing things”

“But I..”

“Enough Dick,this conversation is over”

“Master Bruce ,perhaps you should watch this before you dismiss Master Dick’s claims.It is footage taken from the building opposite the warehouse Ra’s al Ghul was in”Alfred said interrupting the duo.

The video was only a few seconds long but it was enough to make Bruce stiffen and narrow his eyes as he slipped into batman mode.

He watched as a teenager darted onto the screen and entered the  shaking building,the boy had kept his head down through most of the video but at the entrance he’d lifted his head and looked at something in the sky.

In that instant most of his features were visible and Batman found himself looking at the face of a child he thought had died years ago.

Conner.

“Alfred,contact the league, tell them it’s urgent,Dick with me….Now”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow,it's been a while.Real life has been hectic,right now i'm sacrificing sleep to get this posted,hopefully you guys enjoy it.---I still don't own Yj.

The doors opened and  closed quietly, as a hooded figure exited through one of the numerous doors in the Justice League’s earth based building.

M’gann glanced back at the structure wondering whether or not she should go back inside,but quickly decided against it.

He was alive.

Connor was alive,…she hadn’t killed him.

 She looked down at her bone white skin and felt rage blossom within her.His _father_ had tortured her for hours,burning the skin right off of her-literally-and the whole time he’d been off enjoying himself.

He was probably the one who sent Luthor after her.

Her thoughts darkened even further as she thought more on it,she was so engrossed in her anger she was startled when she felt the worried probing of another consciousness.

_‘M’gann?’_

_‘It’s okay Uncle,nothing to worry about’_

She threw up her mental shields,desperate to keep him from seeing the source of her distress.

She’d been skating on thin ice ever since the whole debacle had begun.The other heroes knew she wasn’t the sweet  girl she came across as,but she still kept up the façade if only to maintain a sense of consistency- it wasn’t easy, especially after her run in with Luthor,but she kept on smiling,even if it was more crooked at the edges.

The formerly green girl looked down at her  skin again,before quickly glancing away.If she didn’t see it, she didn’t have to think about it.

Post traumatic stress.

That’s what the League had diagnosed her with a month after she’d been rescued and had realized she couldn’t shift forms anymore.

_‘R’akyshla’_

Her uncle’s voice had echoed in her head and M'gann had felt her world tear apart.

For Martians,the mind and body were one thing.just as their minds changed and molded themselves to synchronize with others, their bodies also did the same, shifting to take on whatever form was necessary.But for all that to be possible,both had to be in balance…and Luthor had taken that from her.

He’d forced her being into _‘R’akyshla’_ -the separation of the mind and body .

A technique that she shouldn’t have been able to achieve until she was well past 500 years-but her immense power had enable her to do it.

It was a form of self-defense and was usually reversible,but because she’d entered it unknowingly and had used all her might to cling to it(desperate to escape from the pain),the chances of her regaining her shape-shifting abilities were incredibly small.

She’d lost a part of herself paying for something she wasn’t guilty of.

All the years of wariness and mistrust from everyone,all the thinly veiled hate and fear directed at her.The countless ‘therapy’ sessions,the mind-checks L’gaan had to undergo to show that she wasn’t controlling him during their short lived relationship and most of all…the loss of her friends.

The foul dark thing,she’d been repressing for years made itself known once again and M’gann fought very hard to keep her surface thoughts calm so as not to alert her uncle.

She wouldn’t kill Connor,…she’d never hurt him.She still loved him,even after everything he’d put her through.

Connor just didn’t understand just how all consuming her love for him was,but she’d show him…and once he fully understood just what he meant to her-he’d never ever,ever,ever leave her again.

_‘Stop it M’gann,leave him alone,you promised’_

The new voice in her head wasn’t her uncle and it took her a few seconds to realize that the voice was hers.It continued on and on,spouting words like brain-washing,wrongness and self control,until she wrapped it in a psychic hold and suffocated it as she headed back inside.

She didn’t have time to listen to an echo of all the things that had been said during her’probation’,she had a runaway boyfriend to…readjust.

***

Connor added sweet chilli,to his beef stew enjoying the aromas that wafted out of the pot before,closing the lid.The breyani next to the stew was cooking nicely so he moved on to the oven to check on the pies he was making.Behind him canisters were levitating as he carefully focused on keeping them afloat as he spread a fine layer of sugar over the cookies he’d baked earlier on.

He looked into the fridge,searching for inspiration when his eyes settled on some eggs and his mind lit up.

Ice cream,definitely some ice cream.He rummaged through the shelves looking for vanilla essence(seriously,how did his father ever find anything in his labyrinth of a kitchen ).The vanilla was behind a bag of flour and after contemplating it for only a few seconds Connor grabbed the flour as well-pasta sounded like a good idea.

He mixed the ingredients for the ice cream with his TTK while kneading the dough for the pasta with his bare hands-simaltenously enjoying the feel of the dough as it stopped sticking to his hands and feeling the  smoothness of the cream’s molecules with his power.

Connor knew that he should stop,he knew he’d overdone it and was still overdoing for that matter, but he could not make himself stop.What had happened a few hours prior kept racing through his head, so he kept on cooking in a bid to gather his thoughts(not that it was helping much).

How could he have been so reckless.

His excursion hadn’t been about him getting noticed.He’d just wanted to check on the team and observe them from a distance before slowly easing himself back into their lives.But now that plan was out the window.

What if they didn’t want him back?What if they’d only accept him if he made peace with M’gann.Maybe they’d even side with her-

His eye roamed once more and he caught sight of the some leftover mince from earlier when he’d made meatloaf.Chilli?

Definitely chilli, now if he could just find a clean pot.He walked past all the levitating tools and food(when had he started swirling his salad mid air-oh-he’d needed the dressing to really seep in earlier).He gently lowered it into the bowl and ignored the others as he continued his quest.

 

***

A few hours later,he could barely move around the kitchen and he was having to levitate food off counters so that he could work.All the ingredients in the kitchen were mostly gone,but there were a few vegetables left so he decided on a simple broth.

 

He was busy wondering whether or not he should buy some ingredients online and have them delivered immediately when the sound of a throat clearing made him turn towards the door(how had he not heard anyone come in?).

His father stood ,arms folded over his chest as surveyed the ‘scene’ with a raised eyebrow.He looked equal parts unsettled and impressed.

“Conner,I’m pretty sure your restaurant is in Hawaii,you know,the place where I left you this very morning”

“Unless of couse, you’ve decided to change locations.”

“Care to enlighten me on what kicked off this…frenzy.”

Feeling defensive all of a sudden Conner unconsciously mirrored his father’s pose,even raising his eyebrow in the exact same way.

***

The staring competition lasted a whole fifteen seconds ,before Connor’s mouth caved from all the stress he was under and decided to release him from his agony.

“Nightwing saw me”

And those three little words  set everything else loose.He found himself talking about how Sphere had located his old teammate and they’d gone to see him-just to observe from a distance-but he’d ended up exposing himself.

“…I had to do it ,Ra’s al Ghul was going to kill him”He finished and promptly began fighting the urge to look down at his feet.

A pregnant pause followed as his father regarded him quietly.His stare was unnerving but Connor met it head on,he regretted being caught out,but he would not ever regret saving Nightwing.

 “I already  know”

The statement threw him for a loop and he opened his mouth to ask,but as always his father was ahead of him.

“Batman,might be subtle,but the rest of the caped community…not so much”

“Booster Gold in particular,really shoudn’t be trusted with any information,I managed to delete the social media posts where he was asking his fans if they’d seen you-imagine the damage it would have caused if I hadn’t taken care of them”

Conner took a few moments to process exactly what he was being told before he finally spoke up.

“Aren’t you mad?The heroes are probably going to think you kidnapped me”

 

“On the contrary,this is great news,”

“Mercy!”

The young chef stared at all of them,trying to figure out exactly how getting a bodyguard would be of any use to him.His father sighed heavily and muttered something about him being similar to a smallville farm boy,before elaborating.

“Connor,it’s time for you to come out into the light”

***

The League was in chaos.When Luthor’s impromptu  press conference had been announced, all of them thought it was another one of his schemes to either get richer or try to bring down Superman.Then he’d come out of nowhere and announced that he had an heir.

Then they’d all watched as a Conner look-alike came to stand beside the billionaire.

Aside from the eyes and red-tinged dark hair the boy was a dead ringer for Conner,but that was where all the similarities ended.

Unlike the Conner they knew,he smiled(a warm smile) that had reporters swooning,he posed for pics and expertly maneuvered through verbal traps.And most of all …he was calm.

Nothing at all like the angry surly boy they’d known.

“He’s been brain-washed”

“Luthor has control of the weapon”

“We have to get it back or neutralize the threat”

“That’s obviously another clone he-”

***

Clark looked from his fellow heroes to the smiling boy.

He wasn’t being mind controlled,his movements were too smooth and too natural to be those of someone not acting autonomously.Even his smile wasn’t faked or hiding ill intent,Clark knew this because he’d been the recipient of such a smile-a long time ago.

It was Lex’s true smile,warm and bordering on nervous,but welcoming in its own way.He hadn’t seen Lex smile like that in years.

He vaguely registered Bruce silencing the whole room,then it took him a few seconds to realize everyone was staring at him.

They were waiting for  him to make a decision and Clark realized he couldn’t brush all Conner related things off,and pass on the responsibility.His neglect had already done enough harm,the least he could do was protect the boy from being attacked by the league.

“We should meet him before we make any decisions,I’m sure that Batman can find him easily now that we have more information on him”

The dark knight nodded at him from across the table and Clark saw something in his face that Bruce hadn’t directed at him since the day he’d run away from Conner at the Cadmus ruins.

Respect.

***

Conner knew he was being followed from the moment he left the restaurant.Whoever his pursuers were,they were good,he had trouble telling just how many of them there were and that made him twitchy.

After such a hard day he knew it would be a bad idea to use his TTK to feel them out.Exhaustion and a super power that could literally squeeze the life out of someone were not a good combination.

He walked at a steady pace,doing his best not to alert his pursuers that he knew of their presence.He passed several buildings and every now and then he’d see a shadow flitting about at the edges of his vision.Conner briefly wondered if the people tailing him,were hoping to make a quick buck by kidnapping the Luthor heir,but the thought was preposterous.

He hadn’t said anything about himself that gave away his profession,plus his father was keeping most of the press off his back,so the chances of someone knowing he lived in Hawaii,were pretty low.

But low chances were still chances,and slim as they might be Conner was beginning to believe he’d been found.

No petty criminals were that good at tailing someone with super hearing so silently.

He waited until he made it to the lone path leading to the compound before coming to a stop.The footsteps following him also stopped.No doubt his new shadows had realized the lack of cover,as the path had only grass surrounding it,the trees ended right at the beginning of the trail.

“Come out,I know you’re there”His voice was more grouchy than angry ,but Conner didn’t care.After fourteen straight hours in the kitchen all he wanted was a hot shower and comfy bed.

The was a laugh from above him and Conner startled at the sound.It was carefree,bright and …familiar.The sound came again just as a figure dropped down from the tree ahead of him,and Conner eased into a casual fighting stance.More followed the first figure and a small hint of fear curled in Conner’s gut.

He was more than capable of taking care of himself,but even he knew that there were still things out there that could hurt him.The figures came out of hiding ,one by one ,until he could make out their silhouettes, his infra-red vision didn’t do much other than confirm their exact location so he stood his ground,trying not to show that he was a little bit concerned.

The shadowed group didn’t move,they seemed to be waiting for something and Conner was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it.He tensed his legs and made to jump forward,so as to force his pursuers into an attack pattern he could predict ,but the smallest figure amongst them  broke away from the others and headed straight for him.

He canted to the left,trying to simultaneously, dodge the person,call upon his TTK and make sure to keep an eye on the others who still remained in the shadows.His meticulous planning failed on all counts,as the formerly shadowed person tackled him(only his super strength allowed him to remain standing).

Conner willed his TTK to push the person away ,but stopped when he realized something.

He wasn’t being attacked…he was being _hugged?!_

His  attacker's shoulders were shaking,his shirt was also getting suspiciously damp.Conner pulled back slightly,and got  a glimpse of golden hair.He’d only known one person whose hair was that particular shade of blonde.

“… _Artemis?”_

As though the name were a signal,the others stepped into the light and Conner could see them clearly.

The boys…no men,grown men,looked at him and Conner could only stare in shock.The team had come to see him…and they didn’t look mad.

He nodded to the males and closed his blurry eyes as he turned his attention to Artemis and hugged her just as fiercely as she was hugging him(for once he’s glad that Mimi subjected him to so many hugs while he was working for her,he might not be overly affectionate, but at least he didn’t freeze when shown affection anymore).

***

They were all so….grown.

They were taller than him and Kaldur even had a beard.Conner was glad to see them looking so healthy,but seeing them all grown up really brought to light how he’d barely changed.

Only his green eyes and the barely there red tones in his hair showed that time had passed for him.

He pushed down the slight jealousy ,he felt blooming,and focused on studying his friends as they walked towards his home.

***

At the compound,the others stood around awkwardly until Conner finally realized they were waiting for him to give them permission to sit.Once they were seated Conner made an excuse to leave,stating that he was going to get them something to drink.In the kitchen he took a few seconds to compose himself.He put four glasses on a tray with shaky hands and just about spilt juice all over himself when Stella jumped onto his shoulder.

“Strangers,in house”

“It’s alright Stella,they’re friends ”

The g-gnome looked at him questioningly,before her horns glowed as  she hopped down and disappeared into a  shelf.Conner knew that he wouldn’t see her again while his friends were there,but she and the others would be around and keeping an eye out for him.

He carried the tray into the living room and poured everyone a glass,no one said anything(not even Wally,who had never been good at staying silent.)All of them were stiff…too much time had passed,and they had too many verbal booby traps,to start normal conversations.

_How’s the team would eventually lead to discussions about M’gann._

_How’ve you been would lead to him telling them about when he was homeless._

_Even a how are you doing would sound like they trying to figure out how much damage M’gann had done  to him._

He stared at the wall for a few minutes minutes,completely unmoving.He didn’t really mind the silence but he could tell the others were uncomfortable.But what could you say to people you hadn’t seen in nearly half a decade,that would come naturally.

In the end it was Wally who broke the silence(he didn’t even open his mouth to do it).His stomach gurgled loudly and Artemis elbowed him none too gently.The redhead blushed furiously,and laughed,edging away from the blond archer as his stomach gave another loud gurgle.

Kaldur gave an exasperated sigh while Dick rolled his eyes,but Conner barely paid them any attention as he was already on his feet and headed to the kitchen.

***

After a day in the kitchen Conner was tired,but the instant he entered the kitchen all  his exhaustion took a back seat.

Cooking for his friends was one of the things he’d often fantasized  about,when he’d become a chef.In his dreams it was always an extravagant affair with everyone dressed to the nines and ordering outrageous dishes,which he somehow magicked into existence,but he found he liked the simple reality even more.

He  pulled out random ingredients from the shelves,not really sure what he was making.He chopped up vegetables,going from carrots to cabbage,lettuce,bean sprouts and some snap peas.Conner even had some rice cooking on the stove.By the time he pulled out some chicken breasts he realized he was well on his way to making a stir-fry.

Unlike at the restaurant, Conner didn’t have to exercise much restraint and he took great pleasure in  tenderizing the meat with a single punch.He limited his strength,feeling the cells give slightly but not enough to turn the meat to mush.Then he sliced against the grain,making thins slices and occasionally sending burst of TTK into the steak to make sure it wasn’t too tender.When it came to adding the marinade,Conner took his time,running his hands through the spices,and using his power to push the grains into the meat.

He placed the meat in a wok,frying it alongside some garlic and ginger(he briefly entertained adding chilli,but then remembered how Kaldur  always reacted poorly to it and decided to leave it out).He stood as still as he could,lightly sniffing the air ,waiting for the right moment and he knew the instant it came.

The scents in his nose started to merge,signaling that the cooking process was almost done and Conner added soy sauce,lime juice and sesame oil.Just like that the symphony in his nostrils intensified and tipped the finished product into a bowl,before quickly returning the wok to the stove and frying up all the vegetables he’d chopped.

He carried out a few more finishing touches when everything was done,and then he took a little bit of everything and popped it in his mouth.He’d been tasting things individually as he went along,but tasting the entire  finished product was new and it set his taste buds alight.

Perfection.

He set about getting plates to serve the meal.Never having noticed that his friends had followed him and had been watching from the doorway since he’d begun.all of them awed at seeing him not only show such skill,but also look comfortable in his own skin for the first time since they’d known him.

When he came back to the living room,all of them were seated,pretending they hadn’t just witnessed, an intimate moment. The sounds of spoons scraping and loud moans(surprisingly from Artemis,resulting in a full out belly laugh from Wally).

Conner looked at them eating his food and a warm feeling settled in his chest.

He’d said what he needed to say.

_I’ve missed you._

_You came for me,I waited three years and you’re finally here._

_Thank you_

And most of all…

_I love you guys._

Once all the food was eaten and the plates were taken care of,the  thank you’s that followed assured him they’d understood.

All in all,it was perfect…at least until,Kaldur who looked very uncomfortable,shared a look with all the others and then squared his shoulders as though he were about to face a firing squad.

“Conner, we thank you for such a warm welcome”

“However,there’s another matter that brought us here”

Conner withdrew, tensing up despite his best efforts to stay relaxed.He knew what was coming ,but he wished to be wrong about it.

“…The League wishes to speak to you Conner”

His shoulders sank as Kaldur finished and Conner’s suspicion was confirmed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this fic is done,it just a matter of fine tuning.Unfortunately i still don't own YJ.

He was lovely.

A lot of words flitted through Canary’s mind but,lovely was the only thing that fit.

Gone was the angry sulky child she’d trained and in his place was a lovely young man.There was no rage in him,all the anger that had constantly been radiating from him was gone,replaced by a quiet cheerfulness,she’d never imagined he was capable of.

She wiped a few stray tears,wanting to hug him,but too scared to.

He was probably angry at them for not protecting him and rightfully so.

***

Bruce did not recognize the young man before him and he was glad.

Instead of wallowing in despair and allowing himself to be corrupted Conner had persevered. He’d made something of himself.

A chef.

A very good one at that(Dick had made him promise to never tell Alfred that he’d found someone who made better food than him) ,Bruce himself would get to see if that was true-given the fact that there was a ninety –eight percent chance that the huge basket Conner’d been carrying when he walked into the league’s earth base had food in them.

Bruce watched as Canary warily approached the former Superboy.They talked quietly for a few seconds before Canary burst into laughter and hugged him tightly.The boy hugged her right back and that made something in Bruce’s chest loosen.

The insistent screech that had been eating at him since the day ,they’d found Conner missing finally went quiet.

There was still hope,he could still make things right.In that moment the man of shadows made a promise,he’d be a better uncle to Conner and Clark was going to start being a parent even if he had to drag him by the ear to do it.

They owed the boy that much.

***

“We’re sorry—I’m sorry Conner”

Of all the things Conner had expected when he’d headed out with his friends,having Superman apologize was not one of them.

The man of steel wouldn’t look him in the eye(which was nothing new),but he was addressing him directly,without anyone having to threaten him into doing so(he’d overhead the other mentors trying to convince Superman to take him under his wing a lot when he’d been new to the world).

“I know I wasn’t there when you needed me the most,and there’s nothing I can do to change that,but if you’re looking for a mentor,I’d be more than willing to help”

Conner looked at Superman,trying to figure if the man was lying,he didn’t detect any deception from him,so he decided to just state the obvious.

“I’m a chef”He said slowly

Superman finally looked at him and smiled.

“I know that,what I mean is—you don’t have to keep cooking for people 24/7,you can be a hero part-time too,if you play your cards right,I can even get you into journalism,I’ve never been much of a cook and if you’re anything like me ,you probably aren’t happy slaving away at a stove day  in and day out”He said laughing quietly and absently rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

The hero gave him a warm look(the very same look Conner had wanted from the man since stepping out of the pod) but finally being on the receiving end of it,he only felt cold on the inside.

He looked from Superman’s smiling face,to Canary’s stricken one and finally to Batman,whose only giveaway was how stiff he’d become.

Then the pain came as Superman’s words landed and squeezed at his heart.Turning his vision red with a rage he hadn’t felt in years.

Once upon a time Conner would have slipped into a seemingly endless fit,but in the years he’d been gone he’d learnt control,and his father had shown him how to channel anger and annihilate enemies without ever lifting a finger.

His pose shifted seamlessly from,at ease to  languidly waiting to strike and a smirk spread across his face.Despite the calmness he was trying to project some of his anger must have leaked through because Superman stopped smiling and looked around,not understanding why everyone was suddenly so tense.

“I’m not you and I never will be”

“You know I thought you’d be proud I was doing something on my own instead of trying to be you,..but then again,I’ve never mattered enough for you to notice anything other than the things about me that remind you of yourself”

If voices were physical Conner was certain his would have been a potent venom.He let out a humorless laugh and eyed Superman with his arms folded over his chest(unknowingly putting the man of steel on edge with how much his mannerisms reminded him of Lex).

“On a slow day ,I work fourteen hours,tired beyond anything you can ever imagine, but still pushing myself.I volunteer at the local soup kitchen every weekend after work,and while that might not seem like anything to you,it means a whole lot to me.”

“You think being a hero is all about,the flashy fights  you have.Tell me … _Superman_..what do you think happens to people after you’ve leveled their homes defending them”

“Conner I-“The kryptonian tried to re-group,obviously realizing what he’d done wrong,but Conner was having none of it.

“People need shelter,they need food,and that’s where I come in.It might not be on a large scale like yours,but what I do counts,because at the end of the day,there’s one less person going to sleep hungry and worried because they don’t know when their next meal is going to be”

Superman looked like someone had struck him,his mouth opened and closed several times.

“I know how that feels because I’ve--”

He cut himself off before he could continue(Superman did not deserve to know about his struggles).He turned briskly and headed out the door.

***

Clark hadn’t meant to offend him.

He’d only wanted to offer his help,but seeing the way Superboy reacted he realized he’d said the wrong thing.

“What are you still doing here.Go out there and fix it”

Bruce’s low growl broke him out of his stupor and he moved towards the door,as the other heroes followed close behind.He turned to Bruce and the other man looked right back at him.The respect ,gone from his face,replaced by an indifferent hardness normally reserved for criminals.

They went through several hallways before he finally spotted Conner in the distance,he was almost at the door,so Superman called out to him,garnering the attention of all the heroes close by in the process.

The boy turned ever so slowly,and for a moment Clare expected to see Lex’s face instead of Conner’s(just how much of Lex did Conner have in him?).

“Wait,lets talk about this”

The boy turned,his green eyes glinting dangerously,and began talking,his voice carrying across the now crowded hallway,and Superman-no Clark-Cark Kent felt his world collapse beneath him.

_“Ikkae tate ame rishka?Neha wam ake “_

_“Na ke lap,vihs aki,re ne…Kal-El-kga mog”_

With that final parting shot the boy left.

There was silence as everyone stared at him,unsure what had just transpired.The concrete beneath him splintered and cracked as his knees hit the ground and no amount of shoving from Batman could get him to move.

It was only with the help of a visibly shaken Kara(who was the only person other than him who’d understood Kon-El)that they were able to get him to the med bay.

***

Batman looked from Superman’s unresponsive form to the girl sitting by his bedside.They’d found nothing physically wrong with him,and all J’onn had been able to pick up from his mind was shock,so the best they could do was let him come out of it on his own.

“H-He didn’t really mean that did he?”The voice was tiny and afraid,nothing at all like the Supergirl Bruce was used to and he tried to sound none threatening when he answered.

“Since I have no idea what he said,I can’t answer that”

“There are no earth words to describe it correctly,but,the closest he-h-“The girl cut herself off and took a deep breath.

“He asked Kal how he could still call himself a man when he couldn’t even look at his own son,if it killed him to know Conner didn’t need him anymore and would never ask anything of him because he had someone who cared about him and didn’t look down on him”

“Then he c-he called  Kal-El…kga mog”

“That’s _forsaker of kin,dream-killer,bond-carver,coward_ -these words are the closest in meaning but not even they fully cover,what he said… _and he meant it_ ”

“Kal isn’t like that is he?He’s been good to me,he accepted me whole-heartedly, he’s the earth’s hero,Superboy misunderstood right?Kal would never disregard family-we’re all we have”

Bruce looked down at the girl,not knowing how to answer,he couldn’t lie to her,but he also knew she wouldn’t be able to comprehend the level of damage her mentor had caused to Conner,so he did the one thing he could do.

“Superman will explain,once he’s recovered,I have to find Conner”

With that he left the room.

***

Batman entered the garage, Sphere was gone,which meant Conner was also gone.

…Odd.

Bruce was certain he’d seen the Dick and the others go after Conner when his confrontation with Clark ended,he was certain that  talking to his friends would’ve delayed his departure.

He glanced around the deserted garage once more before turning back to the door.

He was almost at the exit when the hairs at the back of his neck stood up and he dropped to the ground on instinct,narrowly avoiding a flying projectile.He rolled to his feet,firing several      bat-shuriken at the area where the attack had come from,one of them hit their mark,and his vision of the garage blurred.

An illusion.

He let loose more weapons keeping his assault up,the fake garage dissipated and he could see the real one.

Chaos,absolute chaos.

All the vehicles,terra and space bound were littering the room,some of them with fist shaped holes in them and others had arrows,but worst of all,amongst the wreckage were members of the original Young Justice and they were all laying in pools of blood,and the room smelt like burnt flesh(human flesh).He looked from Superboy who was laying beside sphere,to Dick’s unmoving form and felt rage bubble to the surface.

_“M’gann!”_

The girl came out of the corner she was hiding in,undisturbed by the sight of her friends laying around her.

“I was going to take him peacefully,then we’d go somewhere quiet and work things out,but when I tried to ,he refused,then the others came and took his side”

“They gave me no choice,I have to do everything I can for our love”

***

She was supposed to be on the mend,her records and her behavior showed that she was doing fine.How did she backslide so quickly.

Batman’s mind fought to  come up with a solution even as his body fought an outward battle,dodging projectile and sending out his own as he hid behind toppled spaceships.

_How was all the noise not alerting everyone to what was going on_

_Even he hadn’t heard the alarms until he’d managed to hit her_

Had she really grown powerful enough to fool all the senses without them noticing despite the close monitoring she’d been under.

This…was not good.

***

When she’d tried to take Conner,she hadn’t expected the others to be there.Then things had gone down hill.In the end she’d had to stab Artemis with her own arrows and break Wally’s legs while he was mid run-just to stop them from moving Conner and taking off the handmade kryptonite necklace she’d managed to slip around his neck.

She sincerely hoped Dick hadn’t been injured too badly when she’d hurled his explosive back at him and trapped him close to it when it detonated.M’gann was even more hopeful that she hadn’t burned Kaldur too badly after draining most of the water from him(after-all she knew just how terrible fire was).

Once all of them were down she’d picked up Conner,intent on leaving quietly so they could head to their happily ever after.

…Then Batman had come.

She looked down at the hero,trying her best not to glare at one of her mentors,but he was making it _so_ hard.

Why was he doing this?She didn’t want any trouble.All she wanted was to take her Conner and go.Couldn’t he understand that-she was fighting for love-there was nothing more important than love.

Something exploded behind her ,and she hit the ground painfully and rolled several times.A kick connected with her side and flung her into the burning debris nearby.

‘ _Fire!_ ’

Memories of  clear green eyes laughing manically even as the man’s mouth remained shut,when he branded her with flames rushed forward.

‘ _No!No!No!-_ ’

“No!No!N-”

Another kick shocked her into the present and silenced her pleas (she hadn’t even realized she voicing her pleas).

Her blurry vision made out a dark cloud approaching her,moving steadily and getting bigger and bigger as it got closer.When the cloud finally came to a stop,M’gann’s vision had cleared enough for her to realize that it was Batman.

The dark knight was glaring down at her, and for the first time in a long time,the martian felt fear that had nothing to do with Lex Luthor and his burning torch.

She scooted backwards,not even caring that some of the metal was cutting into her skin as she tried to get away from the Bat,who was moving towards her with slow measured steps.

Her eyes roamed frantically over the torn garage,looking for an escape.

M’gann’s gaze landed on the barely breathing body a few meters from her(Nightwing),and an idea popped into her head.

When she raised her hand in his direction Batman’s hands went to his belt and he pulled out something that looked like a needle.He flung it at her and M’gann threw in everything she had into pulling Dick towards her,there was a loud snap as one of his bones broke,but she pushed her worry aside as she realized that the needle thing Batman had aimed at her had hit its mark.

Anyone else would have thought the needle had failed upon not feeling any immediate effects,but M’gann knew her body.

She was being poisoned.

She used her telekinesis to cut off the blood flow to her left hand,while making sure her human shield stayed in place.

She rose on shaky legs,ignoring the way her arm was darkening rapidly.

“Step away,Batman”

“ _No_ ”

M’gann started slightly at the tone,Batman had never growled at her before,but then again,she supposed the circumstances  called for it.

In retaliation for his refusal she forcefully extended Dick’s broken arm,drawing a pained moan from  his unconscious form and causing him to cough up some blood.M’gann’s heart ached to see him so hurt, but she couldn’t let it get to her.

Conner was her priority.

“This is your final warning,let us go and no more harm will come to the others”

The Bat didn’t say anything,but M’gann knew she’d won when he didn’t advance any further,knowing he was probably thinking of a way to get to her without harming Dick, she moved quickly and summoned the bioship.Once it was close she extended a bit more of her power to load Conner in,feeling her knees tremble with the effort.

Once Conner was in the ship,she backed away slowly,keeping her eyes on Batman the whole time.She entered the ship and it shut instantly,going invisible as it took off.

She dumped Dick a few minutes away from the base before shooting off at full speed.

***

 They made it to her hideout without incident.

M’gann checked and double checked,but no one seemed to have followed them.With  her fear of capture abated, she finally took time to look at her injured limb.She settled into a pseudo meditative state,focusing on removing whatever it was Batman had injected her with.

When she was done,she could barely move but she forced herself to get up and head to where Conner was laying-and simply stared at him.

He was sweating profusely,and his head kept making these jerky little motions,his fingers clenched to the point that his knuckles had no colour in them.Even his mind was broadcasting his pain.

Wave after wave of desperate mental pleas assaulted her,but M’gann held firm and simply watched.

She’d suffered too and now he was getting a taste of  what she’d endured.

Once she removed the necklace and he recovered from the debilitating agony,he’d realize that they were even more compatible,because both of  them knew pain others couldn’t even come to imagine.

The pain of _love._

The best romances came from tragedy and suffering after-all.

It was the same in all the earth movies  she’d seen.

When he was done suffering ,both of them would understand each other fully.

_They’d finally get their happily ever after._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own YJ. Anyways ****spoiler*** Billy is in this chapter,it's thanks to one of you lovely readers mentioning him that i finally found the missing element in this chapter.Unfortunately,the comment was deleted when i rearranged my chapters,but thank you,thank you very much for the suggestion it really helped pull everything together.I hope you guys enjoy this.

“So…to summarise,manhunter’s _psychopath_ of a niece,hurt your children,took off with mine-and you want me to stand aside and-how did you put it Arrow-ah yes _-‘let the heroes do their_ _job”_

Luthor leaned back slightly and regarded all of them,beside him Mercy thumbed the trigger of her oversized ray gun.He stilled her movement with a single raise of his hand,getting to his feet in a single fluid motion.

The man laughed as he left the building not even trying to debate the way he usually did.His laugh was equal parts wild and calculating.

A threat and a promise,delivered without words .

_Stand in the way of me getting my son back and  I will kill you._

The honesty with which  Luthor was displaying his rage was highly unusual.The man was leaving himself wide open for an attack and he didn’t seem to care.

***

If Bruce himself weren’t feeling so out of sorts, he’d probably be goading the man,trying to get as much dirt on him as possible,but as things stood ,he was struggling to hold on to his own rage.

When Billy had brought Dick back,holding the motionless body close,all conscious thought had left Bruce.

“I found him on the side of the road”Billy’d said looking up with devastated eyes-that betrayed just how young he was .

When Dick had been taken care of,Bruce had handed over control to Diana with a calmness he didn’t feel before going to his son’s bedside and clutching his hand-using the boy’s thready pulse to ground himself.

Only when the red that had taken over his vision had subsided had he allowed himself to let go and start with the helping with the hunt for M’gann.

***

“She didn’t care…t-there was this-this..darkness,in her eyes”

“She tossed us like we were nothing”

 “We understand that this must be difficult for you all,but try to remember,did she give any hints as to where she was headed”

“For the last time!None of us had a chance to talk to her before she turned on us…we were too busy fighting for our lives!”

“Artemis,we understand you-“

_“No!You guys don’t get it,you weren’t there-you didn’t the dead look in her eyes,you weren’t there when she broke my legs,nor when she gutted Artemis with her own arrow”_

_“You didn’t see her try to burn  Kaldur alive,and you certainly didn’t see her explode a bomb into Dick’s midsection like it was nothing,so don’t you dare tell us you understand”_

The whole room went even quieter at the outburst.

When things were bad ,Wally was usually the one who laughed it off.To see him look so utterly wrecked ,and not even trying to mask his hurt was one of the worst things Black Canary had ever had to witness.

She called the meeting to a close,and headed out,thankful that the team didn’t follow immediately.

She needed a moment to cry freely without them seeing her.

“I am sorry for the devastation my niece has caused”

The voice was layered with such grief that it took a few seconds for Canary to recognize J’onn.

She looked at the martian, not even bothering to hide her tears and followed him quietly as he headed out the door.

***

 “I should have known what she was up to”

“Her mind had been letting off strange waves for days after we discovered that Conner was still alive-but I put it down to nervousness at having to face someone she’d wronged ”

“Had I know  her true intentions I-“

“J’onn,it wasn’t your fault-no one blames you for that,and we don’t blame you now for not wanting to be directly involved-you’re too emotionally compromised”

“No matter what she’s done,she’s still your niece”

The green skinned man didn’t say anything but Canary could tell he was still conflicted-to be fair so was she-all of them were.

“I know this is terrible of me ,but I sometimes wonder if the M’gann we knew even existed.This creature we are facing is too set in her ways to be a recent development-how could I have missed something like this, if I am even half the telepath I claim to be”

“J’onn-”

“She did terrible things to her teammates and right now she has Conner, but I still want to protect her,I see Lex Luthor,and I want to fight him to keep him away from her,despite knowing that he is also attacking out of love for his child”

“What does that make me Canary?Am I even worse than her,because I still love and want to protect her regardless of what she has become?”

Canary said nothing for the longest time,studying the man beside her.It was pretty obvious,he’d been having these thoughts for a while,and the blonde had to admit she could get where he was coming from,not even she had fully grasped just how disturbed his niece was until the garage fiasco had had happened.

She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly,offering physical comfort when words failed her.

The contact  seemed to work and the green martian stood,looking out into the night.

“I’m going to find a quiet place to meditate,perhaps I’ll be able to trace her telepathic signature if I focus long enough,but I’m not making any guarantees”

“If I find her,I’ll tell you, just…don’t hurt her too badly when you find her”

Canary watched him go,knowing how difficult turning against M’gann was for him.She sent out a thought,knowing he got it loud and clear.

_Thank you J’onn_

_***_

When he came to,he was alone,which was strange,he’d thought Bruce would at least be there to glare at him.In hindsight he could tell that belittling Conner’s career had not been the best move,but he hadn’t meant to hurt him,but judging by the _clo_ -boy’s words,his feelings had been hurt nonetheless.

Speaking of which…

It was _very_ obvious that he’d learnt his kryptonian from Lex,in the rare times that the man used it,he too was always cutting with his words.An the boy had not been holding back.

Practically everyone had told him he wasn’t treating Conner right…but being castigated in his mother tongue had been horrible and it had gotten through to him in a way nothing else had.

_He had to make things right,he had to find Conner._

The man of steel got up and headed for the door,but it opened before he reached it and a figure stood in his way.

_Billy?!_

Strangely enough he was in his younger civilian form,but unlike most times when the boy regarded him with reverence,his face was set in a grim line.

“Bill-“

“M’gann attacked the team and made off with Conner”He said in that matter of fact way only kids and the elderly could manage when relaying terrible news.

“What!We have to stop her.I’ll-”

The young boy stuck his hands in his pockets as the door slid closed,but the kryptonian could see they were balled into tiny fists.

“ _Sit.down.Superman_ ”

Having never had such a cold tone from his fellow hero,Clark found himself sitting back on the bed as Billy moved to sit on the nearby chair(climbing onto it on his knees before righting himself).

“The others are looking for him,they are going to find him and bring him back safely.”The words were said with such certainty that Superman found himself nodding along.

“You and I on the other hand need to talk”

“There’s really no gentle way to put this , so I’m just going to say it”

“ _Stay away from Conner_.”

The man of steel’s head jerked back in shock.

“Now,listenBilly,I know I haven’t been very good to Conner,but I-”

“ _No_ ,…you listen,I’ve seen parents like you in the orphanage and in some of the foster homes I was in”

“When Conner first came I didn’t say anything because,..well..you’re _Superman,_ everyone dreams about you being their dad.But that was a mistake”

“You’re _ruining_ him,Conner spent the last few years,building himself from scratch and the first thing you do when you finally see him again is put him down and talk about yourself.You can’t even lie and say you’re terrible with kids because you’re nice to all the other children”

“I’ve seen you with Kara,you’re awesome,but you look at Conner… _your son…_ like he’s scum.”

“Conner is my friend,he’s one of the coolest people I know,stop putting him dowm”

Clark looked down at the child before him in shock but Billy wasn’t finished.

“You gave up the right to Conner,the day you flew away from him.Stop acting like you care when all you really want is to ease your conscience”

“I do care,I-”

“You _don’t_ ,..even now ,when I told you he’d been kidnapped,you weren’t worried about him.Your first thought was stopping M’gann _.Not_ rescuing Conner”

At that Clark frowned,replaying the conversation in his head,and he was ashamed to see that Billy was right.

“Unlike the grown-ups,I’m not asking you to spend time with him.You very clearly cannot do that without hurting him.So please..please,stop trying to force yourself to be part of his life,you’ll only keep hurting him.”

“I know you think I’m just a kid,but I’ve seen  and been in a lot of broken homes,and I know how this story ends if you keep doing what you’re doing and trust me-it never ends well”

The sadness emanating from Billy as he continued was suffocating,…he looked older than Clark had ever seen him(even when he transformed), _the shadow of an old man hiding behind the eyes of a child._

“You’re not a bad person,you’re just…a terrible parent.”

Having said his piece,Billy’s serious expression faded a bit,and when Clark looked into his eyes,they were once again the bright,youthful eyes he was used to,and not the serious jaded ones he’d been staring at since they boy’d come into the room.

…But his words were still there and Clark couldn’t deny the truth in them.

_What was he supposed to do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you probably noticed,this is more of a feels chapter,to try and get how everybody else is feels on the matter.Hope you enjoyed it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still true that i don't own Young Justice.All i have is terrible self-control that keeps me up at night reading and writing fiction(big up to anyone able to start a good fic and leave it half way to go to sleep-you're a hero).Anyways, here you go guys , a little present from little old me, hope you enjoy it.

“We can still fix this Conner”M’gann’s voice had the same soothing tone it always adopted when she was gently scolding members of the team.

“We can go back to the way we were,before you started this whole mess”Her eyes narrowed slightly,before she caught a hold of herself,and stared at him steadily.

He stared right back,for a whole minute before realizing what she was trying to do.In her green martian form,M’gann had been able to manipulate by  simply using her facial expressions.She’d bat her eyelashes and all the boys(Wally) would come running,If she moistened her eyes just so ,everyone would think she was genuinely hurt and offer comfort.But her white martian form had none of that.

It wasn’t as… _malleable_ as her old form and all he got when he looked at her was a stony indifference(the permanent grin ,was also not helping matters).

She seemed to realize that staring wouldn’t get her anywhere and the same,sweet,gentle and oh-so-reasonable voice she’d used earlier came back.

“Just let me in ,and I’ll take out all the bad parts,we’ll be together again”

“I promise it won’t hurt”

She was talking absolute nonsense and actually expecting him to agree with it.If it weren’t for the kryptonite chewing up his insides Conner was certain he would have scoffed at her,but all he could manage was a weak snarl.

Her demeanor shifted instantly and Conner completely pushed aside his physical discomfort as he set all his energy to his mind.

***

The first mental strike had not been unexpected but the viciousness behind it was not something he could have guessed.When it let up,Conner didn’t even have time for a breather before she came for him again.

From then on the pain didn’t stop,and little else registered as he focused on the mind wall technique Dubbilex had taught him.

_“During an attack from a telepath you must never ever try to keep them out”_

_“Rather you must fight to keep yourself in”_

_“Either pick a pleasant memory,or go somewhere in your mind that you associate with happiness and safety,or whatever good  emotion you have”_

_“Focus on that,keep it close,and no matter how many external ‘tugs’ you receive,focus on your inner calmness and all will be well”_

_“…Do you understand me little brother”_

Conner’s safe haven,was combination of different things.

When he felt the nails of the beast outside his mind walls,he remembered the heat of the kitchen and smell of spices as chefs cursed colourfully, infusing their hearts into the meals they were making.Overworked and overtired  but _content_.When something coiled around his thoughts trying to squeeze them out, he remembered the first real smile his father had given him,the smell of  grease as he patched up RV and the feel of Wolf and Sphere surrounding him as they travelled through star-filled nights.

He remembered seeing the moon for the first time

Memories of the first main course he’d made without Mimi looking over his shoulder and  his barefoot walks on the beach,melded together.Thoughts jumping from one to the other,one moment he’d be reliving his first moments with his friends after escaping Cadmus and the next he’d be pulling apart RV’s engine.

He could tell the moment she got fed up with his resistance,because physical blows followed her mental assault.His body already being torn apart by the kryptonite shuddered painfully and he tried to curl in on himself, but her telekinesis prevented that,holding him down as she turned his    mid-section into a punching bag.

***

The attacks kept coming and Conner struggled more and more to hang on to his happy place not  daring to  give in  to the pain and let her get a peek into his mind.

When she finally let up,Conner looked up at her with the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut,and his stomach churned.

She was… _terrifying._

Her skin was covered in  red blood(his blood) ,but she didn’t seem to notice or care.She approached him again and he flinched,the movement sending another wave of pain through him.

“Why are you scared Conner,you know I’d never hurt you,those are just minor scratches”She poked his stomach harshly and he let out a pained hiss.

“See,it’s not even that painful,…if you can still make a sound then you’re not seriously hurt”

“I’ll just go away now and let you rest,perhaps you’ll be willing to negotiate after a few hours on your own.”

She made a big show of leaving and turning off the lights,leaving him in near darkness,with only the faint glow of the kryptonite as a light source.

Something about the new development had him on edge and Conner didn’t let his guard down. He reinforced his mental shields waiting for an attack,trying not to focus on the agony his body was in.

His vigilance paid off,because no sooner had he fortified his walls the second attack came,…but not in the way he’d expected.

***

Instead of  trying to force her consciousness on him,she stayed at the edges,moving herself until she completely surrounded his mind fortress, but she didn’t try to force herself in.Then…her aura changed.

It was foul,and reeked of a darkness so strong ,it immediately shadowed Conner’s inner world.All the good he’d been surrounding himself with morphed ,becoming something.. _other._

It was like watching,bees swarm for the first time,and Conner stood,watching the darkness approaching,entranced,only realizing he was in some deep trouble,when when M’gann’s shadow reached him.

The fringes of his memories where the shadow touched turned a sickly grey,all the joy being squeezed out of them and he found himself assaulted by the doubts he’d been having when he’d made his happy memories.

_Just a clone-will never be Superman._

_Half Luthor-destined for evil._

_Runaway-too cowardly to face problems head on._

_‘She’s corrupting me from the inside out!’_

The thought,was  whisper lost in the screams of his memories as M’gann’s dark cloud ate away at him.He had to get her out… _but how_ ,she was at the boundaries of his consciousness, poisoning him,without trying to pry him apart…once she was done she’d just waltz in and take over.

Losing his free will scared him senseless and he dug up more good memories,trying to use their light to keep her away,but she  consumed them without pause.

_‘All  memories,have a darkness to them Conner,it’s simply a matter of finding it-you’re only delaying the inevitable.’_

Her voice came across clearly,and Conner’s heart skipped a beat as he ran from the decaying husk that had once been Robin’s laughter-she was definitely getting stronger.He threw up more memories between them,but he could feel himself slipping as minuscule cracks began to form on his shields.

All memories had a darkness, _she was right_ ,with every single happy memory he had,there’d always been doubt.The what ifs…what if his friends stopped liking him,…what if the league returned him to the pod…what if his father didn’t want him anymore..whatif,wha-.

He cut off his train of thought,…he did not need to give her ammo, she’d have more than enough when she got to his memories of Superman.

 _Superman…_ if she got to the memories,he was  done for.

***

Conner let out a weary sigh as M’gann’s shadow tainted his memories of the moon, he cast one last look at the frothing black sky before he switched locations-moving to his cooking memories.They were the last good memories he had,after them….well…things would be dark enough without M’gann’s input.

After she destroyed his culinary world,there’d no longer be a Conner.There’d only be a puppet for M’gann to use as she pleased.

He looked around the imaginary kitchen, and decided to make one final meal-his last supper.

Mushroom soup,simple,but filling in the way all good soups were(he often made it at the shelter during the winter months).

He went about it with an air of professionalism,taking his time in getting himself into the zone.

First things first-mise en place(it was time to put everything in order).

He picked out knives and spoons and arranged them , next he took out various mushrooms from cremini to oyster,and placed them according to their type.he prepared the chopping board with reverence and by the time he picked out spices and bowls,he was on a roll.

It was at the end of his preparation that he realised,that the storm outside had gone quiet,and his kitchen was still…bright.

M’gann’s shadow was retreating- _but why?._

Even as he questioned the backtrack-he could see the darkness returning and he wracked his brains trying to figure out how he’d warded it off in the first place.

All he’d done was prepare ingredients nothing particularly mind-blowing,he’d just focused on the meez and-

_Of course!_

_Mise en place,_ was more than just preparation for cooking,it allowed chefs to reach a point where nothing could bother them, not even the kitchen pressures(and there were _a lot_ of those).

It was the equilibrium point that most professionals (himself included) lived by.With mise en place there was no good or bad emotion,..it just was.

_Chaotic order in its purest form._

M’gann couldn’t taint that.

***

After realizing M’gann’s weakness,Conner had extended his focus to the whole kitchen,imagining preparing for countless meals from all over the world, from the spicy chakalaka famous in countries like Botswana and South Africa, to the various banchan that Koreans loved.

He prepared more imaginary work stations, moving until he was preparing to bake red velvet cake(thank  goodness all he needed to do was think of the preparation-if he actually had to cook all the meals he was thinking of-half kryptonian or not,he’d be in the ICU).

When the last of M’gann’s presence faded from his mind,Conner endured a few more ‘suprise’ attacks,but the way her claws struck radically and weakly,gave away how exhausted she was and when she left completely after another failed attack,he kew she’d be gone for  a while.

His mental self curled up next to a brightly burning stove and he let himself rest,using the imaginary fire as a reminder that he was safe from M’gann…even if for a little while.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Yj,or any other shows I've borrowed from (cough-cough-Smallville) to write this.Happy reading guys.

He awoke knowing something was wrong, and  his body moved on instinct,trying to get him to safety.

Moving turned out to be a mistake,a painful and futile one… _he was tied down._

He tried to open his eyes to see the restraints,but they wouldn’t budge, and just trying to force them open,felt like he was ripping the balls from their sockets, he let his head fall back,turning it from side to side,as he tried to fight off the agony.

_Had,M’gann sewn his eyes shut?_

The emotion that gripped him at the thought of her doing that, ( and she was more than capable of it) had him redoubling his efforts to get free. He tried to call for his TTK,or at least his super-strength, but despite the fact that he couldn’t sense the nauseating aura of kryptonite anywhere,…his powers wouldn’t come.

Fear and desperation mingled together,creating  a potent mix of adrenalin and his muscles went taut as he pulled with all his might(the anguish he was in,temporarily,subdued by the fight or flight hormone).The scent of fresh blood filled the air,just as he heard a ripping sound,and he didn’t even mind that his pain had redoubled(his left arm was free,that was all that mattered).

He bit back a groan of pain,and forced the free limb to feel around,shocked when he met softness instead of the cold hard ground he’d become somewhat accustomed to.His shaky fingers curled around the  strap on his other hand and tugged clumsily, his hand ,too swollen and stiff to grip it properly, never mind the weakness in his muscles.

_Just how mad had M’gann been?_

***

The remaining strap was down to its last threads and he was hanging on to consciousness by sheer force of will and the fear of what M’gann would do if she came in (it didn’t even matter that he couldn’t see),if he could just  get free, he could run.

He kept on repeating the mantra,not even aware that he was muttering,his voice low and raspy from screams he didn’t remember making.

“Get free, run,run, get free,run,get fr-…”

 

The hand that closed around his wrist was so unexpected, that he didn’t even have a chance to defend himself before he felt a pinprick on his bicep.

He struggled against the hold,his eyes burning with the tears he couldn’t release.

“Shh,it’s alright”The voice was pitched low,but still undeniably feminine.He’d never heard it before in his life,but somehow it morphed into M’gann’s faux-cheerful tone and he began fighting again.Trying to escape,even as his limbs turned to rubber.

A pitiful,small whimper,filled the room(the sound of a dying animal) and Conner had just enough wakefulness left in him to realize he was the source of the sound.In the next moment,nothing else registered-he was far away in his own world.

***

In the scary dark  place,Conner heard sounds  and from time to time, he was aware enough to make sense of them.

_“We need,to question him”_

_“Only he knows what happened,down there”_

_“None of you are going anywhere near my son,he doesn’t even know where he is”_

_“How do you expect him to tell you what happened”_

_“Listen, Luthor-”_

_“Stop,Lex is right,Conner is in no condition to be talking”_

_“Superman,you can’t be serious,this case is-”_

The voices he heard sounded so much like those of people he knew ,that he wanted to check,to tell them he was aware.

 _It’s a trap_ ,his mind whispered(M’gann’s playing a trick on you).He headed its warning,staying quite in his moments of lucidness,biding his time.To be honest he didn’t really mind the voices,he could block them out to a point.

What he minded were the touches.

Unlike the voices it was difficult to convince himself that they weren’t real.They were nothing like M’gann’s pseudo gentle touches as she healed him  only to claw him up again.They felt like the real thing,from the thumb running gently over his forehead the same way his father often did when they were alone.To the feel of a firm but kind hand grasping his shoulder.It was just like the one and only time Superman had actually touched him(though it had been fleeting and clearly done because batman was watching).

Each time the touches came he tried to squirm away,but they persisted. Never losing their gentleness,nor their comforting feel.The hands would retreat when he tried to bite them,but they always came back and each time they did,he felt his resolve crumble.

It was nice,being held like that(there were even times when, what he imagined was the illusion of his father, would slip into bed with him,cuddling him,carding a warm hand through his hair,while the Superman-fake that smelt like ozone,traced patterns on his hand).He wanted so badly for it all to be real,but he knew it wasn’t.The moment he so much as dared to believe, _M’gann would pounce_ and he couldn’t give her that kind of control…never again _._

***

They’d had Conner,for two weeks, and in those two weeks his son had not once shown any signs that he recognized them.He didn’t even seem to realize that he’d been rescued.He fought them with everything he had,refusing food,medicine and _even touch._

Every time Conner flinched when he ran his hand through his hair,Lex felt the little that was left of his heart die a bit more…and he also felt rage.

Nothing at all like the smouldering embers he’d been harboring for the martian,but cold,cold rage that had somehow taken over his veins.Pulsing through him with each painful breath he watched his son take,his eyes covered with multiple layers of gauze to keep all the light out(the doctors had promised that his eyes,and his battered body would recover…none of them said anything about his psyche).

***

The only thing,keeping him somewhat grounded was surprisingly enough…Clark.The kryptonian had actually  been the one to find Conner,in the Cadmus ruins of all places(If they ever let Lex near her,he was going to end that girl).

It was obvious the man was still somewhat uncomfortable around Conner, but he was there(and that was more than Lionel had ever done when Lex was hurt).He also made a very effective barrier(an unfortunate thing) keeping his fellow heroes away-and also keeping Lex away from them.He got them to back off(without Lex having to use force) when they wanted to question Conner,not believing Lex when he said Conner was in no position to talk-but they’d taken Superman at his word.

***

At first Lex hadn’t had time to question.He’d just been relived that his son had been found, then he’d been worried when he’d witnessed the state he was in.All he’d known was that M’gann wasn’t a threat anymore and that had been enough  for him to focus all his energy on getting the best treatment for his son.But now most of Conner was on the mend(even if his mental state was still up for debate) and Lex wanted all the information he could get.

“What happened down there Clark?”His former best friend hesitated for only a breath before he started talking.

“To be honest I don’t know”

“It was just sheer dumb luck that I was flying above Cadmus,when the earthquake started,otherwise,I wouldn’t have known,that something was going on below”

The man of steel took a steadying breath and Lex found himself mirroring it,as they both recalled that night.Very few would ever be able to forget the way the earth had shook, _the whole world,had actually trembled_.Nor would they forget seeing the waters rise from the earth and swallow the skies,enveloping the earth in a cocoon not even the sun’s rays could pierce .

The phenomenon had lasted for five minutes(which was how long it had taken for Superman to break Conner’s energy barrier and knock him out-cancelling out whatever he was doing).

“He was glowing,this pale blue fire surrounding him,and for a moment I wasn’t even sure it was him,he was so-so… _powerful_ ”

“He didn’t even hear me as I begged him to stop,and when I pinched a nerve to knock him out,I actually had to use all my strength to make sure it stuck”The man of steel said,his voice more than a bit awed- _and scared._

Everyone was going mad over the event,the more religious,attributing it to aliens,science buffs saying it was aliens(and they were half right) and war-mongers, blaming it on enemy countries trying to get everyone to fight.But the one thing they all agreed on was the name coined by Lois Lane.

_The Infinite Day._

Conner had managed to stretch his five minute rage fit, into something that felt like hours and make the world feel what a day of true powerlessness and terror would actually be like.

Pitch black,shaky and with creatures long forgotten moving amongst humanity once more(luckily the titan-boas and dinosaurs had returned to their hidden island once things had settled down).

“Have you told anyone else about this?”The billionaire asked,his brow furrowing,in thought.

***

 

“Not yet,but I have to at-”The kryptonian paused as he caught the look on the other man’s face.He knew that look,… it never led to anything good.

“No,Lex,whatever it is,the answer is no”Clark said,taking half a step back from the other man.

“You can’t tell anyone else about this Clark,they can’t know it was him”Lex said his arms crossing,looking for all the world like he was making sense instead of talking absolute madness.

“Lex,I have to the league’s investigation-”

“Investigation of what Clark?,everyone knows what happened,she kidnapped him,hurt him and they’re still wasting time _investigating”_ Lex sneered as he spit out the last word.

“Lex it’s not that simp-”

“Of course it is,my- _our_ son,has been attacked,it’s up to us to defend him”

“But this is defending him,once everyone knows what M’gann did,she’ll go away for a very long time”

Lex chuckled bitterly at that.

“Really?,has the justice system changed  that much since,last month when I was supposed to go to jail- _for a very long time_ ”

“Lex,this is different and you know it”The bald man threw his hands up at that,and Clark was momentarily stunned(it had been a long time since he’d seen Lex that animated in a fight).

“Tell me Clark,say it all works out,you tell them what you know and she goes to jail,where does that leave Conner”

For the first time Clark was actually starting to see a flaw in his reasoning.

“They’ll know what he’s capable off,couple that with what he did to M’gann,and add on  his current mental fragility,do you really think they’ll just leave him alone-with his _supervillain_ father no less?”

Clark wanted to argue,to say they wouldn’t take Conner away,but he knew,the instant,the truth came out,Conner would be carted off to an underground facility so deep not even he’d be able to find it.They’d probably put him in stasis,or if worst came to worst,they ask him to place Conner in the phantom zone…for the earth’s safety.

And Clark knew he’d do it,the earth came first-that was part of his code.

It broke his heart but he knew Conner was dangerous,the power suppressors Lex had made, had to be changed every two hours to remain effective.And on days that Conner wasn’t drugged out of his mind,he switched from mumbling quietly to screaming bloody murder,fighting off foes no one else could see.

It was dangerous to have him around, but Clark could see he was getting better.He didn’t cry as much and just the other day he’d leaned into Lex’s touch briefly before retreating.Which was a big step,but the others wouldn’t see it that way,all they’d see was someone unstable, with enough power to bring down the earth with just a thought.

They hadn’t done much with M’gann because they’d thought they could easily handle her despite her power.A lot of them were still smarting from her betrayal and he knew the more zealous members of the league would try to use Conner to show that their system for handling troubled heroes had been upgraded-despite the fact that he had been the one wronged.

He’d fight them on that,and he was sure Lex would too,but at the end of the day it would all cause Conner unnecessary stress…and just the thought of Conner ending up in a place similar to Belle Reve was enough to cause _him_ stress.

***

He’d failed the boy countless times,he owed him …a lot.The least he could do was lie for him,but that went against everything he believed in,all the rules he’d been raised with.He felt like he’d be spitting on his father’s grave even more if he lied(but then again,he’d already done that multiple times when he’d run from Conner).

But if he could just bring himself to go against his moral code-Conner would have the chance to at least get the care he needed,in the presence of people who actually cared about him.

A memory came to him then,of the time Jonathan Kent told him of the one thing he truly never regretted in his life.

The older man had once told him that though he’d made a deal with Lionel Luthor,to get to keep him he didn’t ever mind it.

_“You’re our son Clark,and I’d still do it again given half the chance”_

And just like that,a distant echo of his Father’s voice and Clark felt shame come over him.It didn’t matter,the rules didn’t matter.Conner was his, and though Clark had trouble fully accepting that,he would defend that boy with everything he had.

If that meant lying to the people he’d been working with for years,then so be it.

He straightened and looked at a point just to Lex’s right.

“If I don’t give them something ,they’re going to be suspicious,right now we’re lucky Bruce has been preoccupied making sure Dick’s okay,but if he even suspects something is off,he’ll put himself on the case”

Lex smirked at him,his defensive posture loosening.

“Why go to all the trouble of plotting,when a scapegoat is already there,…M’gann has proven that she’s dangerous,lets just build on that and let everyone assume”

“Even if she were in any state to defend herself,…no one would believe her”

“Lex we can’t do that,it’s-”It was unlawful,terrible and downright rotten to do that to someone in M’gann’s current condition,but it was also the simplest solution they had.

It was either her or Conner, and Clark found he had very little charity left in his heart for her.

Once it was done,he’d have to face J’onn everyday knowing that he lied about his niece,but it was a small price to pay for Conner.

“This stays between us,and it can never be used as blackmail material”When Lex nodded Clark found he actually believed him for the first time since he was a fresh faced teen on a farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it folks...just how exactly did Conner manage to take down M'gann...from what's been said it seems he did quite a number on her...what are your thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, over 2000 hits for this.Thank you guys for the kudos, comments and bookmarks, I'm honored that you're enjoying this story.Once again I do not own YJ.Hope you enjoy this.

“Is there any chance that she’ll get better?”The dark knight asked, carefully watching the person on the other side of the barrier.The final verdict for the case was to be held that day, and it seemed that neither she nor Conner were going to be present.

“In most cases,people with amnesia,or those who’ve had their memories blocked always have a chance of recovery…but this-this is something else and her chances are bleak”

A strangled scream came from the martian girl,only for it to taper off, morphing into a sweet  giggle.The mirth didn’t last long though- all expression bled from the girl’s face and her wide jaw locked, as she turned to stare right at the spot Batman was in-her eyes clouded over- _unseeing._

Just as Batman thought it couldn’t get more unnerving she started rocking, banging her head against the cushioned walls and in one swift motion she was somehow clinging to the top corner of the room,screaming at the top of her lungs about there being a boy on the moon.

“I’ll REND HIM, I’LL KEEP HIM,PIECE BY PIECE,THAT BOY ON THE MOON,PRETTY PRETTY MOON-BOY”She paused for breath,and saliva ran down her chin,tinted green from the puncture wound on her bottom lip,where she’d bitten straight through the flesh.

“ALL MINE,ALL DEAD, SOFTLY-DEAD,DEAD-DEAD-GREEN EYES,SPUN-JADE,COLD-COLD STEEL,MINE-MINE-MOON –BOY!”Her tongue darted out and licked the bloody drool off her face.

She leapt from her perch and landed on her feet,before moving swiftly to her mattress(which was just a slightly elevated part of the padded room).When she settled into a lotus position and her face relaxed,Batman thought that was the end of it…then something moved beneath her skin,rippling before giving out,like bubbles of gas escaping mud.The same thing happened again,this time more pronounced and it looked like snakes coiling beneath her skin,moving slowly,disintending the pale skin,bringing out veins and leaving tracks of deep dark bruises.

The caped crusader turned to the doctor beside him,his head tilted slightly in question.

“It seems to be a holdover from her shape-shifting ”The stocky man answered.

“Her encounter with Superboy, unlocked the ability,but it isn’t complete”

“Whatever transpired in that lab,broke the mental barrier she had towards the power,but she is no longer cognizant enough to use it.Those moving bumps you see are her muscles trying to shift,but not knowing what to do, so they just turn in on themselves,pushing against skin and organs and rupturing blood vessels”

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes,quite a bit,but so far we haven’t been able to come up with a painkiller,that isn’t going to mess with her other meds and whenever we’ve come close,her physical structure rebels”

“Every few days or so,we have to change her drugs to help her deal with the pain…it’s not ideal,but it’s the best we have so far”

***

On his way out of the facility,the dark knight came across the original members of young justice-obviously they’d followed him despite him having given them an order not to.He didn’t say anything,he just stared down Dick, who held his gaze,for a few seconds before moving past him(his pace was slower than usual-but he’d made a lot of progress in the four weeks since he was injured,courtesy of a combination of science and magic-,the casts were off, but he still  wasn’t at  hundred percent).

Batman didn’t say anything to the young adults-some things you needed to see in order to put your mind at rest.

When they came out an hour later,he was waiting for them outside and no one protested when he took  the keys from Artemis and got into  their jet.He ushered them inside and took off,knowing the bat-mobile would find its way back to the bat-cave.

***

He’d been back at the base for a few hours, rechecking all the old videos that showed M’gann’s interactions with the others.Trying to see if there was something he’d missed.There was absolutely nothing, the girl was flawless…always cheerful,even in instances when she was alone,she’d been humming cheerful tunes to herself.

The dark knight got up, and headed to the balcony,trying to get a new perspective on the whole issue.A sharp cool breeze assailed him a few seconds later and he knew without turning around that he wasn’t alone anymore.

“You know Clark, being a hero doesn’t have time off”

“A month is a really long time to go AWOL”His tone was a bit more bitter than usual, but not being able to fully crack the M’gann case and the fact that Superman and Lex hadn’t allowed them to talk to Conner(not even his team had been allowed to see him) was making him waspish.

None of the righteous indignation he was expecting came, and when he turned he came face to face with Superman wearing the most heartbroken look he’d ever seen.

“Lex and I finally got Conner to talk,we taped him…and-”

“Just-y-you need to see this”He floated forward and held out a flash drive,his hands shaking.

Batman took it with caution,wondering exactly what was in it,that had affected the man of steel so badly.

He looked up,intending to ask but the man was already gone-probably headed to wherever they were keeping Conner.

***

He watched the video,then watched it a second time,the goosebumps on his skin still wouldn’t go away as he listened to Conner’s painfully vulnerable voice.At some point while rewatching the video for the umpteenth time, he went to the nearest bathroom and threw up the coffee he’d been having before Superman’s visit.

When he returned from the bathroom,he pulled out the videos he’d been watching earlier in the night and instead of focusing on M’gann he paid attention to the others, and everything was so sickeningly clear, he had to quell yet another bout of nausea.

Bruce called the other senior members of the JL on autopilot and when they came he found that he too, couldn’t put words to what Conner’s story had finally clarified.

Instead he stood by the windows,and observed them as they watched.

Canary let out a gasp at the sight of Conner, pale, bruised and bony looking, when he started speaking, recounting the events she started crying, the others followed soon after.

He moved to stand beside J’onn, offering his silent comfort(afterall he knew what it was like to realize just how dark a child you loved had become).Hearing of just how devious M’gann was, could not have been easy for him.

“Do we tell the team?”Green arrow asked,after they’d all had time to compose themselves.

“This isn’t something we can keep from them, the day she kidnapped Conner wasn’t the first time she’d hurt them.They deserve to know, and we also have a responsibility to make sure that they get help”

***

When they called the team in ,the youngsters looked a little rough around the edges.It was obvious all of them had been sparring to try and deal with what they’d seen earlier that day.They’d intended to show them the video,but Kaldur spoke up before they could start.

“Is M’gann ever going to get better?”It was obvious that he was speaking for all of them.The mentors shared a look,realizing for the first time, that while the Team knew what had happened they didn’t actually know the details.

Diana gestured for them to sit and they went without question.In the thirty minutes that followed, the only voice to be heard was that of the Amazon princess.She delivered the news in a way that was factual ,without being cold and by the end of it, the team was crying freely, not trying to hide like they had in the jet.

“So she was trying to wipe his  memories and he somehow used his ‘tactile telekinesis’ to reverse it on her?”Wally asked, his voice stalling a bit as he mentioned the unfamiliar power.

“No”J’onn answered,his voice thick with grief.

“There are no traces of another telepath,in my niece’s mind and Kon el ‘s power doesn’t work like that”

“She was aiming to erase all his memories and to do that ,she had to place both hands on either side of Conner’s head”

“From the new damage in the Cadmus ruins,we believe they’d fought and she was well aware that he had a form of telekinesis”

“But she was so focused on wiping his mind she forgot that it was touch based, by touching him,she made herself vulnerable to attack….though I believe that not even she knew the type of counterattack he’d unleash on her”

“You see Conner’s power did not erase,it _restructured_ ”

“He rearranged her neural pathways in the space of less than a nano second,M’gann didn’t even feel it and when that time elapsed and her mind came back online ,the electric impulses in her mind collided.”

“Information was already moving when the TTK wrapped around it,so even when everything was in a new order,the knowledge continued in the direction it had been in,and that is ultimately what led to the state you saw today”

They still didn’t seem to understand, and Batman was about to clarify when Arrow stepped in.

“Put simply, Conner ,made a new being by ripping the limbs from M’gann’s psyche and stitching them back together- like having intestines in the cranium,toes for ears and kidneys for nostrils and the like”

“They all function perfectly,but they in the wrong place so everything goes haywire”

"There is nothing to fix, because nothing is broken.Her mind is still whole , but it’s just a clump of cells now,incapable of coherent thought processing”

Arrow’s description was  unsettling, but very accurate and Bruce was certain he wasn’t imagining the way everyone in the room was all of a sudden a few shades paler(himself included).

He had backups in case of mind control ,and other forms of mental manipulation,but what Conner could do,had nothing to do with trying to bend a mind to one’s will.It was a hostile takeover, uncompromising and not at all trying to be subtle in what it was doing.

It was a no nonsense, straight to the point approach…a lot like Conner himself and despite the apprehension, he felt Bruce could appreciate the beauty of it.If honed correctly, the boy’s power could be very dangerous(and it was already terrifying), you could only get your mind back,if the mind had a place to return to, and the fact that Conner could destroy the brain itself, made him more dangerous than any of them had ever thought he could be…no matter which side he was on.

“There’s something you need see and we want you guys to know that,it wasn’t your fault,don’t blame yourselves.You were victims too”

***

 

Wally didn’t understand what could possibly make the situation any worse, but the way the older heroes were looking at them, made him think things were about to get much worse.Wonderwoman tapped the holographic screen and an image of  Conner came into focus.He looked sickly(which on a kryptoanian was similar to someone knocking at death’s door) in an overly large t-shirt,that looked like it would  be a better fit on Superman.

_“Conner can you tell me exactly what you remember”Lex Luthor’s voice said from somewhere off screen.Kon tugged at the shirt nervously with bruised fingers before he began speaking._

_“The day we announced that we were dating, I felt…weird like I wasn’t really there”_

_“I wanted to say something,because I couldn’t remember agreeing to go out with her, but the words wouldn’t come,so I just went along with it”_

_“She was nice,always nice, those first few months,we never even argued”At this Conner looked off into the distance ,before continuing after a few moments._

_“The first time I disagreed with her,It wasn’t anything big, I wanted to stay at the base and finish  the new bike I’d been working on and she wanted to watch TV,…I said no”_

_“She asked me again and I still said no,she looked genuinely shocked at that,but didn’t bring it up again”He exhaled at that, and took a moment to compose himself._

_“She stopped bothering me whenever  I went down to the garage, or was with Sphere and Wolf,but everytime I was there, she started having little get-togethers with the others,sometimes the whole group and other times it was her and just one of them…nothing too suspicious”_

At this point the Team looked at one another, trying to figure out where the whole thing was going.

_“Then one day she asked me again to leave  project I was working on, I said no …and she smiled ”_

_“Wally came around the corner, and she twirled her hair, laughing at something he’d said,I don’t remember the exact conversation, but she twirled her hair again and Wally turned to me, telling me how lucky I was”_

_“Something sank into the back of my head then,like a barbed stinger making itself at home and before I knew it I was asking her if she wanted to go somewhere, my project completely forgotten”_

_“From then on it became a norm,Artemis commenting on how cute we were,was always followed by me trailing after M’gann the whole day,Kaldur telling me he was glad I’d found happiness meant I’d done something wrong and had to apologize,even if I couldn’t remember doing anything”_

_“I tried to tell Rob-Nightwing about the strange occurrences once,but then M’gann’s laughter reached us,  he went from listening to me, to congratulating me on having such a lovely girlfriend”_

_“I stopped trying to tell people after a while, because she’d show up in one way or the other and they’d completely forget I was trying to tell them something and start praising our relationship”_

_“They didn’t even seem aware that they were doing it, that’s when I started noticing  that  it wasn’t just the team she had a hold over.She always got the villains to confess, no matter how tight lipped they were known to be”_

_“No one is that good at their job,but M’gann always succeeded and no one suspected anything and with each word of praise she extracted from people ,the stingers in my head, became an overwhelming ,constant ,drilling pain”_

_“I got so mad, and I was always angry,people started talking to her more,relying on her to tell me things, barely ever talking to me…and the worst part was, they didn’t even realize it.We’d become M’gannandConner, with me being the invisible unstable one”_

_“I got scared of actively talking with the others, because talking to them usually led to them complementing our relationship and setting off the bees in my head”_

_“The day she pushed me off the cliff, I was hoping  not to come back up again- I was tired of not being good enough, not fast enough, not smart enough, and obviously not thankful enough because I had no idea what people saw in our relationship that made it so golden…”_

_“I didn’t mean to runaway,I just wanted somewhere, where I couldn’t be seen as just Superman’s defective clone or ‘M’gann’s boyfriend,who was lucky to have her”_

_“I just-I didn’t want,to hurt anymore,it felt like I couldn’t get any air in my lungs and more than anything-I wanted …to breathe”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I wanted to touch on how abuse, isn't just about the abuser and the abused.One way or another loved ones get sucked into it and it's never pretty.Kudo if you enjoyed it and comment to tell me how you felt.Lots of love to all of you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is attempt number 3,so i just decided to post it before i decided it wasn't good enough.I still don't own young justice.

Fur.

Heat.

Metal.

Fur,heat,metal…

The three mingled together, as he curled into Wolf’s side, his free hand settling on Sphere and his TTK gently feeling the fire in the stove.Slowly but surely he brought his breathing under control and looked up at the other person in the room.The old woman didn’t seem to have noticed his brief panic attack,so he let himself sink back into his blanket on the floor-pretending like he hadn’t just drowned on dry ground.

He tracked her movements from the corner of his eye, unconsciously gripping Wolf tighter to remind himself that he wasn’t seeing things,she was really there.

_Grandmother._

“There’s no need to be so formal Conner, you can just call me Grandma”She’d said on the first day many weeks ago,when she’d walked into his hospital room with a very subdued Superman- following behind her.

Grandma.

He had a grandma-who loved cooking just as much as he did and who gave the warmest hugs Conner had ever received.

She’d been there in the room the day he’d finally told them what had gone on with M’gann.She hadn’t shied away when Conner had clutched her hand.When Conner had wanted to head back to Hawaii to recuperate, she’d come with him,without question.

“There’s not much to do on the farm”And just like that he’d found himself living with his grandmother in the compound.Watching in fascination as she moved around the kitchen, skillfully avoiding genormophs perched all over the place as she worked.

She didn’t judge,didn’t look at him like he was a thing, instead she looked at him as though he were a miracle(even more so than his father did) and that was saying a lot.

He rubbed his cheek into Wolf’s fur and got a quiet rumble in return.Sphere glowed softly as her gears shifted and she turned into a bracelet,settling on his wrist-a reassuring coolness.

His power expanded through the compound feeling the pulses of all the living beings within and skirting across the loose grains of sand on the floor.

Everything was alright,no foreign energy sources, yet he felt his heart rate pick up.

A wet rough tongue on the tip of his nose brought him back to the present and he went back to his mental chant.

Fur,heat metal…fur, heat, metal…

As long as those three things were there, he was fine, nothing could touch him.

***

The first night back at the compound Conner had found himself  in the kitchen.He’d  come in to make himself a midnight snack and had wound up sleeping there.The next night he’d brought in a mattress and the rest had been history.He moved it out of the way during the day(replacing it with a blanket), but at night he carried it back in.

The adults were worried.

No one had said anything directly to him,but he often overheard their conversations.There’d been specialists coming to the compound to check on him,but that hadn’t lasted very long.Most of them had urged his father-who’d also moved to the compound-to have him committed.

They’d said words like _trauma_ , _paranoia_ and _breakdown_.Trying to persuade his Father that he needed to be somewhere with padded walls and constant surveillance. So that he’d  stop freezing whenever he heard giggles that reached a particular pitch or when someone wearing a particular  flowery perfume( _widow bleue_ -just like M’gann’s) came too close.They’d  promised that being taken away would mean he’d sleep better,that Superman wouldn’t have to fish him out of the ocean whenever he somehow wandered into the water in his sleep.The men and women had spoken of his stifling dependence on Wolf and Sphere, of how he needed to become more social…

All their suggestions had sounded so reasonable, and Conner had clutched his biceps hard enough to leave bruises,waiting to hear his father voice his consent and have him taken away.

Then one of them had mentioned a place called Belle Reve and for the first time Conner had understood where his terrible temper came from.

The man had only managed to leave in one piece thanks to the interference of his grandma and…Superman.But Conner’s TTK had picked up the way his nose had concaved under the force of his father’s fist,and his super-hearing had picked up the garbled screams loud and clear.

***

Martha Kent had  always believed that she’d raised a good boy and he’d grown into a good man and until the day he’d come barreling into her house and had hit her with a simple-

“Mom, there’s someone you need to meet”

“But first, I need to tell you something and apologize”

-she’d believed that she’d done her best by her son.

But then he’d sat her down and told her about a boy, a dark haired child.One she’d seen on the news and had asked him about(he’d denied any connection to the boy then) and she’d left it at that.

After meeting her grandson,she couldn’t quite bring herself to forgive Clark, nor could she forgive herself either.She was his grandmother,she was supposed to have known him on sight and have taken him in…instead she’d believed her son,when in hindsight it was pretty clear he’d been lying ,Clark had never been able to lie convincingly to her).

The first time she’d hugged her grandson,he’d been stiff and  had looked at her with such fear,his eyes flicking from her to Clark.Like he was expecting Clark to break him-if he so much as coughed in her direction.

***

The anger she’d felt towards her son had dissipated at that look.

She could rage at him all she wanted,but in the end she was certain nothing would hurt Clark as much as seeing his own child look at him with such fear.

After her meeting with Conner and her decision to move in with him,Clark had followed her around the compound, and  she’d realized with a start ,that he was waiting for a reprimand.

She’d taken a walk on the beach with him one day when Lex had been playing the piano to Conner and he’d come willingly enough.

“I know I messed up and I know you raised me better,I’m trying to fix it,but he’s-he’s scared of me and when he’s not fearful, he looks at me like I’m about to walk out the door and never come back”She hadn’t even had to prod him to get him to talk.

“Have you apologized to him, because I won’t lie Clark-I’m disappointed in you,that boy didn’t deserve any of what you put him through”He’d looked down at his feet then,  a habit from childhood, a sign of shame.

He took a deep breath and Martha sat down on the sand beside him.

In the end the talk had taken just over two hours and through most of it she’d kept quiet as he vented.Telling her of his initial shock at seeing Conner,of the fear that had gripped him when the others had kept pushing him onto a boy who’d most likely be his executioner and of the shame he’d felt when he realized that he’d been wrong, but had found that too much had happened ,to the point that he couldn’t just waltz in and make a place for himself in the Conner’s life.

“He grew without me, he doesn’t need me anymore”

“No matter how old you get,you always need your parents Clark”

“But he doesn’t want me…he’s learnt to keep going without me,what can I do to make him see that I care,I may not be the best at showing it,but I do care for him”

“ _Be present_ ,”

“What’s done is done,but you still have today,keep showing up and eventually he’ll begin to open up to you.It won’t be overnight,but someday Conner will realize that you have his back,that you won’t abandon him again-and when that moment comes, seize it and don’t ever let him go again.”

There hadn’t been much more she could do after that,so she’d headed inside, leaving him to his thoughts.She’d walked in to the sight of Conner placing a sparkly hair pin on the head of a         g-gnome  perched on his knee,Sphere in the form of a robotic spider,acting like a pseudo hairpin attached to his short hair and Wolf watching silently from his spot by the window where he seemed to be sunbathing.

Her grandson had looked up at her then and he’d given her this silent eye smile,that she was certain he’d gotten from Lex and Martha Kent had found herself making a silent promise.

_‘So long as I draw breath,I will protect you with everything I’ve got…never again-never again’_

***

Six weeks after the talk with his mother,Clark was in Mumbai, having just rescued villagers from a fire when he heard a familiar splash .

He zoomed across the ocean and in less than ten seconds he had Conner out of the water and on the sand,rubbing a hand over his back as he coughed up the water he’d swallowed.

When that was done he looked up at the night sky,noticing the full moon for the first time.It was almost the same as the one from  the night they met- but this time instead of running Clark found himself moving closer.

He wanted to pull Conner in for a hug, but the way Conner’s shoulders were hunched defensively as he got his breathing under control made him reconsider.

He stared back up at the night sky and started talking,his voice a near whisper as he said things only meant for Conner to hear.

“Rae ka-lim,I’ta qani,ushu la, wa kae mi a triashku”I’m sorry, I failed you as a parent,I had no right to treat you the way I did.

“Nari El-koto,Tlari akwa to wa ikilhi”We are of the house of El,we stick together no matter what,  with you, I somehow forgot that.

 

“ _You’re selfish Smallville, it’s not always easy to see, but somehow, you’re one of the most selfishly –selfless people I’ve ever met_ ”

Lois had told him that once and he hadn’t understood what she meant, but now he finally did.The wide eyed, almost hopeful look Conner was giving him was really bringing her point home.

“Nna,Kal-El, ka Jor le Lara-El, m’ki ale ts’hipo , mog a kas, “I Kal-El, born of Jor and Lara El, make you the promise to never abandon you again,we are kin .

Not wanting to push,Clark got up and was immediately airborne.

His flight however was halted by a hand clutching his cape.

“Do you mean it?”The question was all but gritted out, but the hope behind it was almost blinding.

“By Rao and the infinite cosmos, from this day forth Kon-El, I will do my best by you”

“I may not always succeed, but I will always be there”

At some point during their talk, his feet had once again landed on the sand.He didn’t doubt himself when the urge to hug the boy came again.Moving with super speed, he held him in a crushing embrace and was more than a little shocked when it was returned just as fiercely.

If more than a few tears were shed during the encounter it didn’t matter.With the moon as the only witness to their father-son, it made the whole thing even more binding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word of warning, the angst isn't over. So sorry, but i just love angst so much.Hope you guys had fun with this.Thank you for the lovely reviews kudos and bookmarks.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own YJ or any part of the DC universe.

At exactly one o’clock in the morning Conner woke up.He lay in the dark for a moment, watching the red lights of his clock before finally deciding to just get up.Stepping over Wolf and making sure not to bother Sphere , he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

Leaning against the kitchen counter he finished his glass,gently feeling out the presences of everyone in the house-they were all asleep-and _safe_ , putting him at ease as he moved to put the empty glass in the sink.

Everything in his line of sight suddenly doubled and when everything straightened again, he found that he was gripping the faucet so tightly that it was bent out of shape(thank goodness he’d been able to put the glass down).Not wanting to worry anyone he set about fixing the metal.Running his TTK through it, moving the molecules one by one, shifting them until the surface was smooth and his power could detect no unusual bumps in the structure.

It was probably in the better shape than it was initially, but Conner counted that as a plus and made his way unsteadily back to his room-resolutely ignoring the odd incident.

In the morning, he awoke to a pillow soaked with blood(it was a small messy that the smell hadn’t woken Wolf), cleaning it out in the bathroom, he pried out the small molecules of blood with his TTK(channeling the power was harder than it had been before) before making sure that his nose had no signs of the nosebleed.

***

Half way across the world from the young man in the compound in a secret facility, a figure made his way through sterile white walls as he’d done for several weeks in a row.

At first J’onn had just done it as a way to check up on M’gann,then he’d started looking into her mind again.The absolute chaos of her thoughts had jarred him(just like it had done the first time he’d tried to check for signs of consciousness), but he’d powered through and after that he came almost every day. Sifting through the broken frames in her mind and piecing them together, and viewing the memories before they fell apart, the pieces scattering once more.

Being a green martian J’onn had only ever known the war from the point of view of the oppressed.In all his years of trying to survive , he hadn’t thought of what exactly the other side did to get such ruthless soldiers, the answers M’gann’s shattered mind provided were things he wished he’d never known, but still he kept going to visit,unearthing more and more of what had made the monster she’d kept hidden for so long.

_“But she’s crying”The younger M’gann in the memory projected, crying as she held the trembling little Ba-ruka(the martian equivalent of a koala), in her hands._

_The mind that talked back, melding with M’gann’s consciousness, was something dark and made of the coldest winter,stealing all warmth from little M’gann’s thoughts._

_“It is crying isn’t it little one, and we can’t have that-now, **be a dear** and **silence** it, just the way I showed you”The instructor pointed to what was obviously the little Ba-ruka’s mother lying on the floor, staring at the two white martians vacantly(none of the melodic notes, the creature was famous for projecting could be heard, there was only a dull hum-that sounded **just so wrong)**_

J’onn didn’t have enough memory pieces to see what exactly M’gann had done, but he heard the final part of the memory, and in it M’gann was alone with the little creature, singing a martian lullaby as the light bled from its eyes and the scared little trills it had been making stopped-and unlike with its mother, there was no humming sound-there was only silence, then…

_“Not bad for your first try, but the trick is not to kill them, they make better bait, when you can control them fully- I have six more for you to practice on, then we can move on to the real fun stuff-you’ll love the static green martian minds make before they fade out-and we just got a new shipment today”_

Watching the memory disperse, J’onn stepped out of his niece’s mind.The scene wasn’t one of the worst things he’d seen from her, but like all the others it still unsettled him, because everything was so jumbled.He never knew what he was picking out, some memories were of M’gann rebelling in her own way, sparing some green martians here and there and freeing some cage Ba-rukas, while others were some of the darkest vilest things he’d ever seen.

He wanted to blame her harsh upbringing for the horrible things she’d done to Kon-El, and in a way it was, but he’d seen enough to know it wasn’t completely true.

During the war, she’d been too young to know the difference between right and wrong, but as she’d grown she’d discovered it for herself and for the most part had tried to adhere to it.

What she’d done to Kon-El,was mostly things she’d learnt in the war.But the choice to hurt him had been completely hers, she’d known she was hurting him, but she’d still persisted, and amongst her sea of chaos,J’onn had found the one thought that made him realize that M’gann had been in full control of herself.

_…I’m a good guy now, so everything I do is good-even the bad is for a greater purpose-Conner is my reward for all the good I’ve done, he doesn’t get it yet,but I’ll make him see…_

***

With his mind still reeling from his latest discovery, J’onn didn’t put up a much of a fight when Hal requested his assistance in going off planet to tame some space locusts who were known to devour whole planets.

Like he did every time he was going to be away for a long time, he went to say goodbye to M’gann.Spending the time he had with her, telling her stories instead of going through her memories.

After a talk with her doctors he made his way out, studiously ignoring the half pitying-half worried look the lantern gave him(he’d gotten very good at doing that).

***

Exactly two weeks after Martian Manhunter left Earth, two very important events occurred.

The first one was more noticeable and easily picked up on.

Conner Luthor, after weeks of hiding _nosebleeds, falls, headaches_ , and _general exhaustion_ …collapsed. He didn’t wake when his frantic grandmother, who’d been walking along the beach with him, reached him, crying desperately as she tried to rouse him.

Neither Wolf’s terrified  barks nor Sphere’s frantic beeping could awaken him.

When Superman having heard his mother’s cries rushed to the scene and picked him up,flying  him to the medical wing Lex had installed in the compound, Conner  was still unaware.

By the time Lex Luthor finally made it back  to the compound with a dozen specialist from around the world following behind him, Conner was still unconscious.

For the small Luthor-Kent family, that would be the only thing they could focus on, but unbeknownst to them, something else,something just as important concerning Conner was happening.

***

It started by accident.The gossamer thread of a thought that was never fully formed, winding itself around two memory fragments that just happened to fit perfectly together.

The sparks of the two aligning memories, did something to the thread holding them together.It shook, elongating and twisting in on itself as it came alive, slowly making its way across the debris in M’gann’s mind, looking for thoughts similar to the ones it was already tied around.

Finding them was hard, and most time it felt itself forgetting its purpose and beginning to fade before the memories it had in its grasp sparked again, reminding it of its mission.

The memory pieces didn’t fit as well as they should have, with jagged pieces and huge missing chunks, but with the thread running between them, even if they were far apart, the memories started making something that could almost be called sense.

And for the first time in a really long time the being known as M’gann M’orzz, opened her eyes…and she _saw_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, bookmarks and kudos, they mean a lot to me.


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